Page 47 of Sin and Redemption

“You don’t have to be. It won’t take long,” I said quickly, then snapped my lips shut and felt heat rise into my head. Why did I have to say something like that?

An apology lay on the tip of my tongue, but then I remembered Maximus’s words and was unsure what to do.

His face was stone, his jaw clenched. He gave a hard nod. “Sure.” He shoved to his feet, then hesitated as if he wanted to say more, but then he turned and left.

I released a shaky breath. I wasn’t sure how to keep myself busy until tonight. Maybe I should just have asked Maximus to do it now, but I couldn’t bring myself to run after him.

Since it was the weekend, I didn’t even have any classes. Not that I would have been in a state of mind for them.

I decided to call Isa and ask her to go shopping with me.

“Shopping?” Isa repeated.

“Spring decorations. And I need a few coffee table books for the sideboard in the living room and in my bedroom.”

“All right. If I get the chance to enter a bookstore today, I’ll come along. I’ll be there in thirty minutes.”

Isa was always good at distracting me with her dry, dark humor and I-don’t-give-a-shit attitude, but today, even her presence could hardly stop my brain from dreading tonight.

Maximus returned from work after dinner. He’d sent me a message that he’d grab something to eat at work. I was relieved I wouldn’t have to spend an awkward dinner sitting across from him. I just wanted to get tonight over with.

I was already in the bedroom when he knocked and then came in. I wore a loose-fitting nightgown and no underwear to make it easier for him.

He stopped in the doorframe and regarded me with a hard-to-read expression. He wore black sweatpants, a tight white tee, and white sneakers. Not his usual work attire.

“I hit the gym to let off some steam,” he said.

I searched his face, wondering why he needed to let off steam. But my nerves stopped me from being ready to assess someone else’s reasoning.

When I didn’t say anything, he pushed off his sneakers and kicked them out into the corridor. I almost said something, but then he closed the door and came closer. He stopped at arm’s length from me and glanced down at me. For some reason, his tall frame and muscles stood out more than usual today, and it made me nervous, which didn’t even make sense. It hadn’t been Maximus’s strength that had hurt me. He hadn’t overpowered me. Maximus had never once crossed any boundaries I’d set even though he was more than capable to do so.

“We don’t have to do anything,” he murmured in his deep voice.

“I’m ovulating tonight.”

“You said that already.”

His voice rang with tension, but when I looked up at his face, it was carefully guarded. “Can we just get started? The wait is making it worse.”

Maximus looked down at his feet, then gave a nod. He looked up with the same guarded expression as before and took a step toward me.

“Should I lie down?” I asked quickly.

He frowned. “If that makes you feel more comfortable.”

Definitely not, but I needed to speed things up before I lost my courage and would have to wait another month for my ovulation. I climbed onto the bed and stretched out on my back.

Maximus stayed where he was, his eyes on me.

“We don’t have to do this again if everything goes to plan,” I told him.

He smiled strangely. “That’s good news.”

He sank down on the bed beside me, then after a deep exhale, he turned to me and bent over me. I realized he was going to kiss me. His hand touched my shoulder lightly.

“What are you doing?” I asked, panicking.

He froze with his face above mine. “I was going to kiss you and help you relax so it’s a good experience for you.”

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