Page 29 of Sin and Redemption

Maximus glanced at the fridge, then rose to his feet. “There are eggs and toast in the fridge. I can’t cook, so I didn’t prepare anything. Plus, I don’t usually eat breakfast.”

I pursed my lips as I approached the fridge. “You don’t eat breakfast?”

He shook his head. “I’m not hungry that early. I eat around lunchtime.”

“Oh, all right. I can grab something on the way to the appointment. I don’t mind.” I didn’t want to prepare eggs just for myself.

“We can leave now if you want.”

I nodded. It was still early, but being in this apartment with Maximus felt strange. I grabbed a chai latte and a yogurt parfait on the way but only finished the former before we reached our destination.

Maximus and I entered the doctor’s office together. I’d been there for checkups three times so far. Mom had accompanied me to every appointment, but today, Maximus, the father of my child, was by my side.

I stretched out on the examination couch with my belly exposed. Maximus hovered beside me, looking uncomfortable. I pointed at the chair beside the couch. He sank down, dwarfing the chair with his tall and muscled frame. My own heart was beating quickly from nerves. I’d felt detached during the last exams, not willing to really accept the pregnancy yet. Maybe today, I’d finally be ready to be excited. I’d always wanted children and imagined how magical being pregnant would be, but due to the circumstances, I hadn’t been able to enjoy the pregnancy at all. It saddened and frustrated me equally.

The doctor put the ultrasound sensor on my belly and quickly found the amniotic sac. She explained what she saw so Maximus understood, but she fell silent when the baby came into view. She pushed the sensor harder into my belly and moved it around, but her expression became tighter by the second. I wasn’t sure what the problem was. Was it too small? I hadn’t lost any weight this last week despite my nausea and the wedding stress.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

Maximus glanced between the doctor and me with a frown.

“Give me another moment,” the doctor said quietly as she kept moving the sensor. She rose to her feet. “I’m getting my colleague.”

A few minutes later, the other doctor who had never treated me sat beside me and took the ultrasound sensor. Several tense minutes passed before she exchanged a look with my doctor, who cleared her throat and gave me a compassionate look. “We can’t find a heartbeat.”

I blinked, not sure what they were saying. “Last time, the heart was beating.”

“Yes,” she confirmed. “But it’s not anymore.”

“The baby is dead?” Maximus asked tightly.

I stared at him in horror. “Dead?”

I didn’t understand. None of this made sense. “But how? Why? When?”

“It’s difficult to say. My guess is that the heart stopped about a week ago, judging by the size of the fetus.”

“But why? Why didn’t I feel anything when it died? Shouldn’t I have known?”

How could I not have noticed that the baby—my babyhad died?

Because you tried to ignore the pregnancy. Because you weren’t happy about it.

“It’s called a missed abort and happens more often than one would think. Often, the fetus has an undetected gene defect or heart defect and isn’t viable.”

“I’m going to be sick,” I pressed out. Maximus grabbed the bin and held it out to me. The moment I bent over it, vomit shot out of my mouth. I kept retching even when my stomach was empty. Someone handed me a wet towel and a glass of water. I wiped my mouth and took a few gulps. “But I still have morning sickness. The baby can’t be dead.”

“It takes a while for the hormone levels to go down, so the body still displays all signs of a healthy pregnancy.”

“Do you want a moment?” the other doctor asked us. I realized she was asking if I wanted to be alone with Maximus.

I shook my head, tears welling up in my eyes. “I need my mom.” I was almost twenty-one, but I felt like a little girl who could only be consoled by her mother’s warm touch.

“Do you want me to call her?” Maximus asked. He looked so composed, and it made me unreasonably angry.

I nodded, my gaze locked on the silent ultrasound screen, then it slid down to my bulging belly.

“Liliana, can you come over to the apartment? Sara lost the baby.”

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