Page 30 of Sin and Redemption

Sara lost the baby. I lost the baby.

A baby I didn’t think I wanted. But then why was it hurting so much? Why did I feel as if someone had cut my heart open and poured in acid?

“What’s next?” Maximus asked the doctor. I hadn’t even noticed that he’d ended the call. How much time had passed?

“There is the option of waiting for the natural miscarriage or a surgical solution.”

A surgical solution? This wasn’t a problem that needed to be solved. This was my dead baby.

I closed my eyes, feeling utterly numb. The last time I’d felt this way was when I’d conceived the baby. Was this fate’s version of irony?

“Do we have to decide today?” Maximus asked. He handled the situation as if it was business as usual. On the one hand, I was glad I didn’t have to deal with anything, but I also grew angrier.

“No, we can give you a prescription to manage the possible symptoms.”

I blanked out the words that came after. I pushed off the couch and stood on shaky legs as I straightened my clothes.

“I want to leave,” I whispered. I couldn’t stay another moment in the presence of the silent ultrasound.

Maximus lightly touched my back to guide me outside, but I flinched away. I couldn’t bear his touch now. I could hardly bear being in my own body. I just wanted to forget it existed.

I reached for my belly, then stopped myself and clenched my hand into a fist.

Our ride home from the appointment happened in utter silence. I wasn’t sure what I felt. I had killed so many and witnessed even more deaths. It never bothered me, but somehow, finding out the heart of our unborn child had stopped beating made me feel… off. I’d thought I’d become part of Sara’s pregnancy today, and instead, I’d witnessed the end of it.

Sara’s expression was frozen, her gaze empty as she stared ahead at the road.

I had never been good at consoling others, and I knew Sara wouldn’t appreciate it if I tried. She didn’t want my touch or my words. Her body language made that clear.

When we arrived in my—ourapartment, Sara headed for the couch and plopped down, still with a look of numbness.

I stood in the living area, unsure what to do. When the doorbell rang, I quickly opened it, and my relief upon seeing Liliana was unmeasurable.

She barely glanced my way as she rushed toward Sara. The moment Sara saw her mother, her face crumpled, and she let out a sob that seemed to be torn from the depths of her soul.

Goose bumps raised the hairs on my arms, and I clutched the door handle even tighter, glad for its solid nature.

Liliana sat beside Sara, who fell into her arms and hugged her tightly. The sobs and cries leaving Sara’s body stirred up emotions in me that I was unequipped to handle. Seeing Sara’s anguish, I realized how much I, too, had been looking forward to becoming a father.

Liliana began crying too.

I backed away without a word and closed the door, leaving the women alone. There was nothing I could do. Liliana’s bodyguards were outside in the corridor, so I knew both women were safe. With a nod at them, I left.

I picked up my phone and called Amo. “Can we do some sparring?”

“Now?” he asked confused.

“Yes.”

“Okay. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

Amo’s brows snapped together when he saw me in the changing room. “What happened?” Was it that obvious? I stared up at my best friend from my position on the bench. “Sara lost the baby.”

Amo sat beside me, concern in his eyes as he patted my shoulder. Neither of us was big on gestures or emotional chitchat. “Fuck. I’m sorry, Maximus.”

I nodded because I was too. “I thought—” I shook my head before I could voice my thoughts. I thought having a child would help Sara and me build a working marriage. But now?

What bound us? Only a vow built on feelings of duty.

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