Page 66 of I'll Carry You

“You should have been watching Kevin. You’re always busy goofing off. Clowning around. Well, look what your worthless clowning around has cost us now, Jason.”

His grandfather’s voice seared into his memory, sang in his ear as the car rumbled over the gravel road.

He pulled the car to a stop and sat in the car, his hands gripping the wheel so hard that they hurt.

You’re a jerk.

A failure.

Worthless.

He drew a sharp breath and lifted his head, staring at the dash.

Go home.

He put his hand on the shifter to throw the car into reverse when a movement from the porch of the cabin caught his attention.

Jen stood from the front porch swing and started toward him.

ChapterTwenty-Two

The car chimedas Jason opened the driver’s side door, and he climbed out. Despite the pounding of her heart, Jen lifted her chin calmly, trying to give him the steadiest look she could muster. She set her hands on her hips. “Why do you call her Mildred?”

Jason stopped mid-step and gave her an odd look. As though he’d expected a different question. And maybe it was a strange thing to ask first. But she’d spent the night and the entire morning in the café going over everything in her head. Kevin had called Millie “Gran.”

That Jason had called her Mildred felt like one last-ditch attempt to continue his lies. Which meant he’d never intended to tell her the truth about who he was until he felt his back was to a wall.

Jason took a few slow steps toward her. “We weren’t close to her as kids. I only saw her a handful of times that I even really have a good memory of. Grandma just never stuck.”

She studied his features. Now that she knew he was Kevin’s brother, the hints of the resemblance were unnerving. There wasn’t that nearly identical look like Dan and Warren had, despite being a few years apart,just something familiar.

Sadness crept into her heart once again. As she’d cuddled with Colby the night before, she’d allowed herself toreallythink about Kevin for the first time in years. They’d met at a church picnic, and Jen had been drawn to how different he seemed from the other guys she knew. He was older than her by four years, too, and she’d been an inexperienced nineteen-year-old who was easily swept off her feet by a guy who could talk about Paris and Amsterdam and Bali . . .because he’d been there.

“Kevin called her Gran.” She crossed her arms. “It just seems like another way you were trying to lie to me.”

“Kevin was younger than me.” Jason’s eyes were flat. “He remembered less.” He gave her a tense smile. “It wasn’t Mildred’s fault. My grandfather was a proud and difficult man. He didn’t like her and did his best to keep her away from our family.”

Millie was well-liked by the community, but she had a quiet, reserved side and didn’t let a lot of people in. When Jen had started dating Kevin, her mother had dragged out her high school yearbook and looked Martha Price up. Martha was a couple of years younger than her mother and had left town shortly after high school, never heard from again. Even Millie didn’t talk about her.

Sadness washed over her. Millie’s daughter had been separated from her. Even her own grandson didn’t call her by any affectionate title. It was a wonder that she wasn’t filled with bitterness and anger. Jen regretted the times she hadn’t made more of an effort to let Colby spend time with Millie.

Tension settled between them.

“You should have told me the truth,” Jen said, her voice sounding less angry than she intended it. She’d been angry. And sad. And then angry once more while she was at work and couldn’t concentrate on a damn thing. Bunny had sent her home early, sensing Jen’s distress, which was just one more thing to worry about because Jen couldn’t afford to lose the pay.

Because her mom wasn’t expecting her to come pick up Colby until later in the afternoon, she’d driven around aimlessly, trying to get her head on straight.

And then she’d ended up here.

“I know.” Jason’s eyes were veined with red, as though he hadn’t slept well.Well, that makes two of us.He deserved to lose more than one night of sleep.

“I don’t know that I can trust you again.” Whatever they’d had was over. He couldn’t be a casual fling because he was her son’s uncle, not some hot mysterious stranger like she’d thought. When he left here, it wouldn’t be like their connection would stop. “I don’t . . .” She gulped another breath, trying to slow her thoughts. Laura wouldn’t want her having a shouting match outside a cabin, and she felt herself losing the ability to remain calm.

“You used me. I’m not even sure why. But you took advantage because you knew who I was when the reverse wasn’t true.” She took another step toward him, hugging her arms closer. Despite her best efforts, her voice rose in pitch. “Explain it to me, Jason. Help me understand how you could just get involved with me, knowing that I could never just be that one-night stand girl you claimed you wanted. Was it just to screw with me? It feels so . . . I can’t even verbalize how wrong it feels.”

Jason looked away, his eyes reflecting the gray sky and looking less bright than usual. “I didn’t come down here looking to get involved with you.”

He could say that, but then why? Why carry on with her? “But we are involved now, Jason. And I don’t just mean the fact that we slept together. I mean this whole stupid baking competitionand that you’re my son’s uncle, which, by the way, I don’t know how in the hell I’ll ever explain that one to him. I don’t kiss any of his other uncles the way I kissed you at the Depot in front of him.”

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