"He's not at home, anyway," Rafe said, and it took me a moment to process the words, the gentle tone. I turned to stare back at him and found his smile uncomfortably kind. "We texted him at the bar. He's out looking for you."
I stiffened, my shoulders drawing in, and then caught myself, drawing in a breath. Why was irritation and defensive anger my first reaction?Iwas out looking forElias, after all.
"He has good hunting instincts," Hannah said to me. "He'll find you…if you let him."
I chewed on my lip for a moment before a slow, tentative smile twitched at the corners of my mouth. "He's not just a hunter. He's Elias. He already knows where to look."
The light wason over my back porch, striking soft golden wings and the pattern of huge amber eyes. The stairs creaked beneath me as I climbed, but Elias didn't lift his head, his smooth voice crooning softly to the alley cats who swarmed around him, yowling and croaking and mewling for pets.
"How long have you known where I lived?" I asked, halfway up the last flight.
"Since you agreed to let me work with you," Elias murmured, lifting his head. The light reflected off his and the cats' irises eerily—a reminder to myself that for as beautifully as Elias spoke, as handsomely as he dressed, as familiar as he sometimes seemed to me, he was not human.
"Have you come here before?" I asked, stopping at the top of the stairs and leaning against the railing post.
He nodded. "A few times. After you stayed with me."
The regulars came to rub against my legs, but some of the wilder strays remained near Elias, their crackling purrs and ragged fur a stark contrast to his brilliant elegance.
"Do you know that there's an opossum living in that cat tree?" Elias asked, pointing to the sprawling structure in the shadows of my porch.
"That's Fred. They have a peace treaty with the cats." Elias smiled at that, and my heart panged. "I went to the bar."
He froze for a moment, then sat from his crouch, the cats skittering away from his wings as he leaned against the wall. "I owe you an explanation."
I had meant to say the same, but it was easier to wait, to let him do the hard part of speaking first. Still, I needed one thing…
Elias's eyes tracked me as I crossed the porch, his hand flexing against his thigh as I sat down next to him. My thigh touched his and we both sighed, the cats sniffing at the soles of our shoes, one old clipped ear tomcat settling on Elias's lap for scritches, his purr thunderous in our silence.
"I've never been in love," Elias said after a long stretch of mutual quiet.
The sudden ache in my chest was revealing, but I lifted my chin and studied Elias in profile.
"Which is notable, given my life span thus far," he added with a skittish glance in my direction. "Some time ago, after Rafe and Hannah mated, I decided that I would…like to try the experience."
I inhaled deeply and held it there, letting the breath push against the crushing sensation in my chest.
"Rafe and Khell both fell in love with their clients, so I…"
"Looked for a similar opportunity," I supplied as he hesitated.
"It wasn't fruitful," he said. "They were just clients. The cases didn't even really interest me. Not much has, recently. Not until you."
I leaned my head back against the brick wall behind us, but found the gentle cushion of Elias's thick wing instead.
"Did you ask to assist me because you wanted to fall in love with me, or because it interested you?"
"Both," he said, so easily. He shrugged, and our shoulders brushed. "I don't think I could develop feelings for someone without that intensity of curiosity as well."
I stared at the brick of the building opposite us, the pattern of color, the veins where the wall had been repaired and patched,and considered Elias's confession. The more thought I gave it, the more the tightness eased.
"Are you in love with me, Elias?" I asked.
It had been a painfully obvious lie that day we'd argued outside of the bridal shop, but he'd looked so shocked when I'd pointed it out that I wondered if he really didbelievehimself in love.
He didn't answer quickly now, but shifted, twisting slightly to better search my face, take in my features. I remained still, allowing him to look his fill. Somewhere along the line, I'd learned to enjoy Elias's stare, when so many others made me uncomfortable. Aside from those awkward weeks leading up to our argument, Elias never looked to find what he already thought he knew was there. Heobserved, accepting what he found. He did so now.
And finally, he answered.