Page 39 of Come Inside

“Mateo,” Kazi’s voice pitched with an unknown emotion, and I turned to him to see if he could explain to me when we had landed in the twilight zone.

“You gonna take that tail out from between your legs and claim this beautiful woman? Or are you going to hide your feelings and die in friendzone hell.”

My confusion was sky-rocketing. I rolled to face Kazi entirely.

“Kazi?” I asked softly.

He reached up, pushing his dark hair from his eyes. “I love you, you know that right?”

“I do.” I loved him, too. He was my lifeline in this otherwise desolate city. He was the calm I needed to wage war against the night terrors that plagued me. He was the anchor that kept me from being swept away in the chaos of my life.

“Well, you stupid ignorant woman. I am in love with you. I have been for years. How could I not be? Even if you worry me to death, and are always saturated in chaos, I wouldn’t have it any other way. One day when the time is right, I have a secret I need to tell you, but I am going to promise you one thing. You can trust me, I would never do anything to hurt you.”

I didn't have time to truly process all of his words, but what I saw when our eyes met, spoke volumes. I watched a reel of all the years of concern, care, and protection Kazi provided me. It struck me in that moment exactly what Kazi had been showing me in his actions. In his attentiveness. In his constant companionship. In his willingness to adjust his entire life on my behalf. For my sake.

He loves me. He isin lovewith me.

Just as the realization washed over me, Kazi's lips crashed into mine, as if all at once, his claim on me, my eyes, my lips, myheartwas finally made.

His body covered my frame, his hair tickling my nose.

He pulled back, watching me carefully. “Scuttlebutt,” he stated my safeword before leaning slowly, carefully down.

Even in this moment he was making sure I knew he was safe. That he wouldn’t push me or hurt me.

With Kazi I didn’t need paperwork binding my safety. I trusted his words. I knew inherently that if I needed to escape, for this to stop, he would. No questions asked.

His lips pressed against me again, capturing mine. Stealing my breath, my heart, mysoul. Kazi represented all things good in my life. He was the reason I thrived for so many years.

His tongue lashed out, pushing against my teeth, I opened for him.

Kazi was safety, warmth, protection. For a long time I thought it was odd how he pushed himself into my life, how he would never let me out of his sight, how he immediately moved in when I mentioned it as a joke.

But now? Here in this moment?I don’t fucking care.

When every flag in your life is red, you have to look for the lightest shade.

He separated from me again, taking my breath with him. One of his hands moved to cup my cheek, the other buried into the mattress below. “Miss Yara, I’m not leaving your side. Whether you want me to or not, so pleasejagiya, make sure this is what you want. I won’t push you, but once we cross this line? I won’t stop.”

My heart beat against my chest in painful thuds; I should be feeling anxious, overwhelmed, apprehensive.

But I didn’t. All I felt was excitement.

I had wanted Kazi for years, but I didn’t want to lose him. Didn’t want to cross a line for him to turn me down. “You promise to tell me your secrets?”

“One at a time.” Kazi’s smile encompassed his face, his eyes lit up as he leaned back and looked over his shoulder.

“It’s not just him. You’re going to have to handle us both. Because from here on out? We’re a package deal, little bee.” Mateo’s guttural voice filled the room.

I wanted to be upset, to argue. But even in this brief period? Even with our minimal interactions? Mateo had dug his way under my skin.

He was someone that I could tell was dangerous. And maybe it was the trauma that had formed inside at such a young age, but being around danger when you know it isn’t going to hurt you?

It was a heady feeling. An adrenaline rush.

“Fuck.” The word left my lips raspily as I laid back on the bed, watching Kazi’s face carefully. “You’ll both take care of me? Make me feel good?”

Why am I giving in so easily to this?

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