Page 27 of When We Dare

I’d never doubted, ever, staying single. And yet, one freaking night with Stella and there were little doubts creeping in. What the fuck?

“How many kids do you have?” Parker was asking Beck.

“Two. I love being a dad. You’ll figure it out one day,” he said with so much confidence I couldn’t help but laugh.

“You think we should be having kids?” I teased.

Beck’s ready grin stretched wider. “It’s made me a better man.” He shrugged, adding, “But I completely support people who don’t want kids. It’s not for everyone.”

Parker rolled his eyes just as Graham chuckled. “It’s not. Kids are more permanent than a face tattoo.”

I almost choked on the swallow of water I’d just taken. “That’s one way to put it. Kids have feelings, unlike face tattoos,” I pointed out dryly.

A few other guys joined us and theconversation carried on. I was enjoying Willow Brook and the firefighters based out of the station here. Hotshot crews had a vibe if you will. The tone set here was one of mutual respect and support with none of that overblown masculinity kind of bullshit.

As evening rolled along, I started to wonder when Stella might get home. Considering that I had wholeheartedly set those ground rules, I was shocking myself. I rarely got involved. I was committed to keeping things superficial. Stella seemed to be on the same page.

We’d yet to speak of how we’d broken a primary ground rule the very first night. I was trying not to dwell on what that might signify. I shouldn’t care about it, but I did. My heart wanted to believe we might have something special.

“What do you think of Willow Brook?” Parker asked from my side.

I rested an elbow on the table as I glanced his way. “I like it. A lot. What about you?”

He tapped his fingers on the table. “I like it too. I’m hoping to stay here long-term. My dad is, well, being my dad. He says he’s in love again.” Parker shook his head slightly. “You know how it goes.”

“Oh, I do,” I said with feeling. “Any updates on your sister?”

Parker shrugged, his fingertips drumming more rapidly on the table. “In the waiting game. I sent her mom a message through the DNA place and she replied. I gave her my info, so if my sister ever feels like reaching out, maybe we’ll meet.”

I could see the uncertainty in his gaze. That was something you tried to mask when you were in detention. You never wanted to get too hopeful. Parker and I had some pain in common. Our dads ran in the low-level trouble circles and we didn’t have our mothers around. My mom died when I was little and his wasn’t around. “Speaking of family, do you ever hear from your mom? Sorry to bring up a painful subject, but you used to talk about her,” I added.

His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “It’s okay. One of the reasons I always trusted you is you weren’t afraid to bring up the hard stuff, at least not with me. Never did hear from her. Sometimes I’m pissed at my dad, but then I remind myself that even if he didn’t know how to make money legally, he was there for me in his own messy way.”

I chuckled, shaking my head with him. “I’ve had similar thoughts about my dad. In the end, we’re all flawed and stumbling along doing our best. In a way, I feel lucky that I fucked up young. It forced me to try something different.”

Parker laughed with me at that. “True story. I’m really glad to see you, Hudson.”

For a beat, tears stung my eyes. My first few weeks in detention were probably the loneliest in my life. I was scared to death and I was a skinny guy at the time, not sure how to protect myself if anyone targeted me. Parker showed up and we ended up bunking together. At the time, he was skinny as hell, but tall. He was scrappy and fierce. It wasn’t that I needed someone to fight for me, but he was angrier than me back in those days. Nobody wanted to fuck with him, not after one or two attempts. He never hurt anyone, but he knew how to handle himself in afight. He was smart, quick, and knew how to take people down. He’d also been a true friend to me.

It felt really good to find him again. “I’m really glad you’re here. Feeling kind of lucky about that,” I said. “Even though we lost touch, I always counted you as one of my best friends.”

Parker’s smile was slow. He curled his hand in a light fist and held it up for me to bump. “Same.”

As I drove home a little while later, I wondered if I could be honest with Stella about my past. These days, it feltmaybepossible. Before, I had just wanted to run from it. My dad had dragged his own criminal record behind him like the albatross it was. Even though we bounced around, they were all small towns. Skagway, Fireweed Harbor, Haines, and even Juneau felt small.

My thoughts swung to my cousin Nate. Nate was another bright spot for me. He’d always been good to me when we were kids. My dad would ship me off to visit his parents. and Nate was one of those easy, welcoming guys. He made you feel like you belonged. Aside from my job, coming to Willow Brook meant being near him again.

When I saw Stella’s car when I got home, need burned like aflashfire inside. I forced myself to try to quell my anticipation. I had a whole list of reasons why I shouldn’t be getting all worked up. Not over her. Not over any woman.

I wished I could give myself the same slack I gave others. My criminal record was solely from when I was a teenager, and it all started because of my dad. And yet, I couldn’t help but wonder if I hadn’t gotten caught if I would be like my dad now.

As if he knew I was wondering about him, my dashboard lit up with a call withDadflashing on the screen. I sucked in a quick breath, letting it out in a gust before I answered. In spite of everything, I loved my dad. He was a scrappy guy, getting by however he could. My dad would move heaven and earth for me if I needed anything.

“Dad,” I said, my lips curling in the usual wry smile he elicited.

“Hey! How ya doin’?”

“I’m doing good, Dad. You?”

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