Page 26 of When We Dare

He set the cat on the floor and Butter twined around my ankles, purring away when I stroked between his ears and under his chin.

“He’s a very friendly cat,” Hudson offered as we approached the stairs to my apartment.

When we’d walked down to Hudson’s apartment, we had left the door open to mine. Butter instantly raced up the stairs. After a quick tour of him investigating the space, he leaped onto my bed and sat in the middle of it, looking at us expectantly.

Even though Hudson and I had agreed there was no sleeping together, we broke that ground rule that very night. I blamed it on Butter.

We had to snuggle with him. We weren’t savages. We curled up under the covers while Butter purred contentedly. I meant to not fall asleep.

When I woke during the night, draped over Hudson with Butter purring at our feet, I felt my lips curling into a smile. A tiny corner of my mind was worried and my heart was a little anxious, but it felt good so I didn’t let myself dwell.

Chapter Twenty-One

HUDSON

Four days later

When I got home from a busy day at work, a massive moose was standing beside the front steps. Unable to get him to move along with a honk of the horn, I resorted to tossing a few snowballs at him, which finally encouraged him to amble into the trees. Once the coast was clear, I hurried inside. Butter greeted me at the door.

I actively ignored the shaft of disappointment at Stella’s absence. She’d texted that she had meetings in Anchorage for work and wouldn’t be home until later tonight. We’d completely broken our rule not to sleep in the same bed. We broke it every night.

My need for her felt like a river breaking through a dam. I couldn’t hold it back. I felt like a reckless teenager with her. While the raw want for her was fierce, I felt as if I was tumbling into something else. But I couldn’t have more, most definitely not with Stella. She was about to be a lawyer when she passed the bar. If she knew about the shenanigans in my youth, she’d be horrified and rightfully so. I had come to a resigned peacewith my past, at least for myself. Yet, I still winced inside when I thought about it. Much as I wanted to lay the blame at my father’s feet, I couldn’t. He might’ve been the one who started me down that path, but I kept going because I couldn’t keep my head out of my ass back then.

My phone vibrated with a text and I glanced down. It was Griffin asking me to meet him and some of the guys at Wildlands for food and drink.

Me:I’ll be there.

I didn’t need to linger. The place felt empty without Stella here. I let Butter back inside and gave him some fresh food before leaving. A short while later, I was seated at Wildlands with Griffin, Parker, Nate, Beck, and Leo.

“Hey, that’s mine,” Beck said, snatching the last halibut bite out of the basket, just as Nate reached for it.

Nate rolled his eyes. “Dude, we already ordered two more baskets.”

Beck shrugged, unabashed. “I’m fucking starving. I’m also exhausted.”

“Why so tired?” I asked.

“Max has a cold, which means he sleeps like hell. Maisie also has a cold. She’ll tryto drag herself out of bed even if she’s half-dead, but I try to make sure she doesn’t do that,” Beck explained.

Griffin chuckled. “You’re a good man.”

Graham arrived, sitting down beside Parker and glancing toward Griffin. “Who’s a good man?”

Griffin thumbed to his side. “Beck. He’s exhausted because Maisie has a cold and he was on kid duty during the night.”

“Totally get it. It is so much easier to have a kid when there’s more than one parent. When you’re sick, you can actually get a break,” Graham replied.

“No shit,” Beck said, nodding vigorously. “I cannot believe you raised Allie on your own until she was a teenager. The toddler phase is like being in a race that never ends.”

Graham chuckled as he leaned forward for his glass of water. “When I look back, I still don’t know how I did it. I was so fucking young.”

Parker was watching quietly, his gaze curious. Beck caught Parker’s expression and offered, “Graham got his girlfriend pregnant in high school. She was the homecoming queen. Turns out, she didn’t really wanna have a baby.” He studied Graham for a moment. “Graham is the best kind of guy. He did it on his own all the way until Allie made it to high school and then he fell in love. Allie’s in college now, right?”

Graham finished a swallow of water. “She is, and I can’t believe it.” He glanced toward Parker. “Madison and I met a few years ago. We have a toddler now, and it’s just different than doing it by myself. It also makes me feel fucking old. The only upside to having a baby when you’re eighteen—” He rolled his eyes. “Living without sleep was easier then. Now, it about kills me. What about you?” he asked, glancing between us. “You’re single, right?”

Parker nodded, and I hadn’t even noticed I didn’t reply until Beck leaned forward, his eyes on me. “Who are you seeing?”

My mind instantly offered up a mental replay of the feeling of Stella soft and warm underneath me and the sound of her crying out just before she climaxed. I kicked that train of thought away as hard as I could. “No one.”

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