Page 148 of Diamond Kisses

I couldn’t change.

I wouldneverbe free from this blackness inside me.

This blackness that’d destroyed her.

That blackness gnashed and gnawed as Ily died right in front of me.

Revenge swirled sickly. Fury and misery, bloodthirst and brutality. It all billowed around my chest, howling through my blood.

I’d caused this.

I was the one who needed to be put down.

The monster inside me shredded all my hopes and dreams. It howled to go after her. To slaughter all those in my way.

Tripping toward the bed, I needed to touch her. Talk to her.

I should never have left.

I should never have gone!

“Ily…”

“Clear!”

Another shock followed by awful, awful silence.

Then a horrible high-pitched beep filled the room.

A beep that just kept rising and rising. Never changing tone. One long, uninterrupted,excruciatingline.

“No!” Rachel charged the bed. “Keep going. She can’t flatline. She can’t! Ily. Ily don’t! We’re here. You’re safe. Come back!”

The doctor closest to Rachel pushed her away. He charged the paddles again but looked at his colleague with grief.

And I knew.

I knew as I bent over and gripped my thighs, unable to breathe.

I knew as that godawful beep kept screaming.

She…she’s gone.

Rachel dropped to her knees and sobbed.

Shouts sounded in the house as Q no doubt tried to find someone to help.

And the final pieces in me cracked and flung open.

The floodgates of hell and damnation.

The maddening darkness that demanded the rest of my soul now I’d lost half of it to Ily.

All my pain fled.

All my sorrow dried up.

Straightening, I nodded and noticed I still fisted my brother’s phone.

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