Page 67 of (Un)Planned

“I know,” she admitted quietly. “I failed you when you needed me the most. Without realizing it, I pushed all my children away, especially you.” She looked up at me. “You have always been so much like your father. You have the same fire inside you. And I’ll admit, sometimes, it hurts to be around you, because it just makes me miss him more.” She let the tears fall down her cheeks. “Losing the love of my life almost killed me, Calla. I wouldn’t wish that pain on my worst enemy.” She stood up and moved in front of me, cupping my damp cheek with her palm. “But it doesn’t excuse what I’ve done. I will never be able to atone for all my mistakes, but if you are willing to give me a chance, I would like to try to move forward.”

The devastated, broken little girl inside me wanted to say yes, to cling to the mother she lost along the way, but there was too much damage to forgive that easily, not when words were all she was offering.

“I’m sorry, Mom. I’m not ready for that.”

She nodded, “I understand.” She ran her hand over my hair once, then pressed a kiss to my forehead. “If that ever changes, you know where to find me. You are always welcome at the Isadora. It’s just as much yours as it is mine.” She pulled back to look in my eyes. “I love you, Calla, exactly as you are. I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you that.”

As my mother turned toward the day, I tried to stay strong. I tried to hold onto all the anger I’d suppressed, but by standing my ground, that tension loosened, leaving less resentment behind than before.

When the handle turned in her hand, I called out for her. “I’m not ready yet, Mom.” She shifted, turning to face me with a hopeful gleam in her eyes. “But if you keep showing up and putting in the work, maybe I can be, one day.”

She nodded. “That’s all I ask.”

I staredat my phone on the coffee table as I paced in my living room, debating what I should do next. As much as I wanted to talk to someone about my mother’s visit, the only person I wanted to tell was Theo. Unfortunately, over the last month, we’d completely cut off all contact, foolishly thinking it would lessen the blow of our separation.

For me, that was the furthest thing from the truth.

Every day, I hoped it would be the day I stopped missing him, the day I stopped feeling like I was missing a piece of me, but it never happened, and I was starting to doubt it ever would.

Refusing to question it anymore, I followed my instincts, grabbing my phone and scrolling until I found his number. His contact had been changed toDON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, but I dialed anyway, needing to hear his voice, even if it was just his voicemail.

“Calla?” his breathless voice answered after a single ring.

That was all it took for me to break, for everything I’d been holding back to rush to the surface. I placed my hand over my mouth, trying to hide the sound of my tears. It wasn’t enough, though, because Theo spoke a few seconds later. “Fuck, Calla. Please don’t cry. It breaks my heart to hear you upset.”

“I can’t help it,” I sniffled. “I miss you so much, it hurts, Theo. I’m so happy for you, and I’m incredibly proud of you, but I think we made a mistake. I made a mistake.”

“Calla…” he cooed, his voice breaking. “I miss you too, more than you even know. I’ve been falling apart without you.”

“You have?”

Maybe I should have hated that he was hurting, but hearing the pain in his voice soothed those broken pieces inside me. For the first time since I left his office, I felt like I wasn’t alone. Just talking to him again pumped air into my lungs, and I was finally able to breathe fully.

“How can you even question that, beautiful?” Theo chuckled. “Do you have any idea how awful it has been here without you? I can’t even walk into my apartment without getting mad that you’re not in it. Hell, I’ve been reading the books you left behind every night because it feels like you’re sitting here with me.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling,” I exhaled shakily. “So, this whole clean break thing—can we both agree that it was a terrible idea?”

“One thousand fucking percent.”

I smiled through my burst of tears. I wanted to hold him, see him, spend the entire evening reacquainting myself with his body. It had been too long since he had been inside of me, and I craved his touch more than my next breath. But, in the back of my mind, I still wanted to support him. I needed him to know I would be there to support his dreams, even if it was hard. “I know you’re going to be busy for the next few months, but I want to visit you, to see you in action in your new office. Maybe make sure your new assistant doesn’t get any ideas.”

“You don’t have to worry about that, beautiful. You’rethe only woman I see.” He exhaled slowly. “But yes, I’d love that. We can talk more tomorrow and figure out all the details.”

“That sounds perfect.” I laid in bed, propping the phone on my pillow so I could talk to him more. “Guess who came to see me tonight?”

“Do I even want to know?”

“Not like that,” I chuckled. “My mom came over.”

Theo paused, probably unsure what to say. “How did it go?”

“About as well as could be expected.”

As I dove into the story of my mother’s visit, I couldn’t help but feel content for the first time since we last spoke. His calm, quiet voice soothed me, and I drifted off in the middle of our conversation, finally able to sleep peacefully through the night.

FORTY-ONE

The next morning, my eyes reluctantly opened, glaring at the bright light that shone through my bedroom window. My legs and feet ached, but I felt incredibly well rested. I glanced at the clock, seeing that it was after nine—probably the latest I’d slept in for months.