Page 62 of (Un)Planned

“I don’t know,” Calla admitted. “I want to be with you, Theo. More than anything. You’re the person I want to build a future with.” She paused, her voice cracking with emotion. “But maybe that future isn’t supposed to start right now. Maybe after we both figure out what we want, we can find a way to meet in the middle.”

“No.”

I broke her hold on me, storming over to the other side of the apartment. “We’re not giving up. Not yet, not like this. Not when we were so damn close to having everything.”

Calla shook her head. “Please, Theo, don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

“Fuck that,” I spit, wanting to rip my heart out of my chest and lay it at her feet. Maybe then, she’d realize howmuch this conversation was killing me. It was so tempting to tell her that I loved her, that I knew she loved me too, but it felt like cheating, pulling out a trump card when I was about to lose. I wanted to say those words because I wanted to give them, not as a desperate ploy to keep us together. I walked up to her, cupping the back of her neck so she had to meet my eyes. “Don’t do this, Calla. Don’t give up on me.”

“I’m not.” Tears filled her eyes. “I’ll never do that. But right now, you need to take this opportunity. Try to see if this is what you want. If it’s not, I’ll be here, waiting for you. If it is, then I’ll be happy for you, knowing that you finally achieved your goal.” She pressed a kiss to my chest. “Neither of us can live with regrets, Theo. And if you don’t take this leap right now, we’re going to spend the rest of our lives wondering what if. I don’t want that for either of us.”

My lungs wanted to give out as she said those words. I shook my head, my hands holding her against me. Maybe, if I held on tight enough, I’d never let her go. “I hate this.”

“I do too.” Calla wiped away a few stray tears. “But I’m still so incredibly proud of you, Theo. I hope you know that.”

“Thank you.” I leaned down to kiss her forehead. “And know that no matter where I am in the world, you call, I’m there.”

“You can’t promise that.”

I seized her chin, forcing her to look at me, to see the seriousness in my eyes. I might have failed this girl in many ways, but this promise would be one I’d keep. This was not goodbye; I refused to let that be the case. And if she called, I would be there, no matter what.

“I promise you, Calla Winters, that if you need me, I will be there for you, no matter what is happening in my life. Because I’m yours, and that’s never going to change.Not tonight, not ever. Maybe I don’t get to have you right now, but there is no way I am walking away from you forever.” I lifted her chin. “Do you understand me?”

Calla nodded then pressed her forehead against mine. As we stood there, both of us breaking down at the thought of being apart, something solidified in my chest. This might have been goodbye for now, but no matter what happened next, Calla was the other half of my heart.

Neither time nor distance would never change that.

THIRTY-SEVEN

The bouncing cursor on my screen taunted me, relishing in the lack of words coming from my brain. It felt like my hands had been perched on my desk for hours, staring at the open document on my computer.

My resignation letter.

Today was supposed to be our defining moment, the moment we got to tell the world we were together. To stop hiding, stop living in fear that someone would find out and we’d be forced to choose between our careers and each other.

Turns out, fate is a cruel bitch after all.

At least before, I would have had Theo. My job was a price I was willing to pay to have the man I loved in my life. But now, I was left with nothing—no job, no boyfriend, and no more will to keep a smile on my face. It was worse than when I arrived in New York all those months ago because, at least then, my heart had been in one piece.

After our tears finally dried last night, Theo and I agreed on a relatively clean break. It would be hard enoughto say goodbye to him as it was; I couldn’t imagine how it would have felt if we’d kept going as we were, knowing there was a hanging clock over our heads.

He was under the impression I’d still be here with him for two more weeks, but I knew I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t watch as he accepted the promotion, no matter how much I wanted him to take it. I can’t bear to watch his office get boxed up; all our memories gone as well. It was better this way.

I steeled my resolve and started typing, adjusting the dates on the page. There was no way Theo would fight me on this. At least, I didn’t think he would. He wanted the best for me, and right now, that was being as far away from this place as possible. After pressing print, I grabbed the letter and darted down the hall, hoping to have this whole process done before Theo got out of his meeting with the partners.

We’d barely crossed paths this morning, but I could feel him everywhere—the little trinkets he’d left on my desk, his sloppy handwriting all over the files. Even his cologne hung in the air, the notes of leather and pine taunting me with each breath.

As I reached Jack’s office, I knocked on his door, waiting until he called out before heading inside. His brows rose in surprise when I came in, and he shut the door behind me. “Calla?” he asked, standing to greet me. “Not that this isn’t a pleasant surprise, but what are you doing here?”

“I need to give this to you.” I pushed the letter in his direction. “It’s my resignation. I gave it to Theo two weeks ago, but I don’t know if he ever filed it with everything going on. Today is my last day.”

He unfolded it, reading the words so slowly that it felt like my skin was ripping apart. I needed to leave, to get outof this building as quickly as possible. Every minute I stood here, I was closer to losing control, to completely falling apart. And if I saw Theo… I refused even to entertain that thought.

“Why?” Jack asked. “Because he’s leaving? Calla, but you have a job here. I’ll make sure of it.”

“I can’t,” I whispered, crossing my arms around my stomach. “It would be too hard, being here without him.” A single tear fell down my cheek, and I hastily pushed it away. “We’re done. And even standing here…it hurts, Jack.”

He cursed under his breath, running his hand over his face. “Look, I know this isn’t my place to say this, but it’s probably for the best.”

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