Page 63 of (Un)Planned

“You’re right. It’s not your place,” I scoffed, turning toward the door. But before I could, Jack shifted in front of me, blocking the exit. “Let me go,” I sneered, not wanting to hear another word from his mouth.

“Two minutes,” Jack said. “And then I promise, I’ll never bring up Theo again. Just let me explain. Let me tell you why you’re better off without him.”

I didn’t even makeit into the cab before I started to break down. The entire drive home, I sobbed in the backseat, hating that I had been so naive. The driver just stared at me in the rearview mirror, concern and irritation lining his eyes, but I didn't care what he thought about me.

Once I stepped inside my apartment, the tears only got more forceful, to the point that it was hard to breathe. I pressed against the door, letting it guide me down to the floor. I bunched up my knees, burying my face in my hands. I didn’t even realize anyone else was there until Devyncurled up to my side, pulling me into her lap. The tears continued as her fingers twisted through my hair, comforting me in the way she did when we were small.

When my breathing evened out, she finally spoke. “What happened?”

“I quit,” I whispered, my throat hoarse from crying. “I went to give Jack my resignation letter, and then he told me that Theo played me, that this was his usual routine. He’d have these secret relationships and then find a convenient excuse to end them.” I brushed my hands along my face, not even wanting to know what I looked like right now. “And as much as I don’t want to believe it’s true, what if it is? What if he was lying to me that whole time, and this new job is a convenient excuse to end things?”

She hummed, waiting a few minutes before answering. “Did you talk to Theo about it?”

“I can’t, Dev. It hurts to much to even breathe. If I talk to him, I don’t know if I’ll survive it,” I whispered, pulling out of her lap. “I don’t believe it’s true, but I also don’t know why Jack would lie to me about it.”

“I don’t know either,” Devyn said. “But I agree: nothing he’s saying makes sense. Maybe Theo has done stuff like that before. We all have pasts, and it can be hard to share the darker pieces. But I saw that man with you, Calla, and I have zero doubt that he loves you. He would have given up the world if you asked him to.” She tucked my hair behind my ear. “He only gave you upbecauseyou asked him to. He was willing to walk away from his dream job to make you happy. People only do that for someone they love.”

“I don’t know,” I muttered, rubbing my hands over my tired eyes. “I almost would rather there be some devious plan in place. It would be so much easier to hate him than love him and not be able to be with him.”

“You don’t know how true that is.” Devyn held my hand to her chest. “But for Theo and you, that’s not the case. You know what you shared, no matter what anyone else says. Hold onto that. Let it keep you going.” She kissed the top of my head. “And hope this isn’t the end of your story.”

THIRTY-EIGHT

Staring out at the city surrounding me, I waited for some emotion to hit me. With only hours left until I boarded a plane to London, this was the last time I’d stand in this office, the last time I would call New York City my home. However, it was hard to feel any sort of loss when I was barely surviving.

When the partners called me in to announce my promotion, I was sick to my stomach. It only got worse when I exited the conference and was met with the sight of Calla’s deserted desk. It was as if the last remnants of my heart had been reduced to ashes. She’d left without saying goodbye, not a minute to spare for one last moment together. It would have been a solace to believe she didn’t care, but I knew the truth. She was as shattered as I was, both of us bearing the wounds of a relationship that had left us battered and bruised.

That had been almost a month ago. A month without her laugh, thirty days without her color igniting my world, and it was already clear that I would never move on from Calla Winters.

There were so many times I walked into Allen’s temporary office, ready to hand in a resignation letter of my own. But Calla’s words played out in my mind, reminding me that this was what I had worked for. If I turned down the job, not only would I be disappointing my mother, but Calla’s sacrifice would have been for nothing. I owed it to both of them to give this a shot, to see if I was meant to take this path.

As I kept studying the city’s skyline, trying to commit each detail to memory, a soft knock came on my door. “Come in,” I called out, not bothering to turn around.

“Wow,” a familiar voice called out. “This is a far cry from the mailroom.”

My brow furrowed, shocked when I turned around to see Natalie darkening my door. It had been years since we stood in the same room, and all our communication was going through our lawyers. She’d left me countless messages over the past few months, but I never bothered to respond, leaving that part of my life behind.

“Nat,” I sighed, running my hand over my face. “What are you doing here?”

“I had some business in New York, so I figured I’d come to check in on you.” She stepped closer to me, gripping the handle of her bag. “You haven’t returned any of my calls.”

“I know, I just?—”

“I get it,” Natalie cut me off. “Everything between us has been so tense; I can’t say I wouldn’t have ignored your calls either. But I need to speak with you, and this seemed like the next best option.”

“Is this about my alimony payments?”

“Nothing like that,” she chuckled. “But I got an offer on the house, and we agreed that if I sold, you would gethalf the profits. I need your signature before I can agree to their terms.”

“Shit.” I rubbed my hand over my forehead. “Do you have it with you?”

She nodded, opening her purse to pull out a stack of documents. I placed them on top of one of my boxes, reading through all the details. Natalie paced the room as I read, looking through all the boxes. “Are you moving?”

“Yeah, to London.”

“London,” she sighed. “Same old Theo. Always on the go.”

I ignored the barb, not having the heart to battle it out with Natalie anymore. In truth, the animosity between us was born out of hurt feelings and poor communication, and there was no reason to continue that toxic pattern. Before Calla, I would have called my ex-wife the one who got away, but now I knew that wasn’t true. We were a lesson, one we should have learned without trying to crush each other. But now that I knew what love was supposed to feel like, I realized I never gave Natalie my all, never loved her the way she deserved.

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