Page 56 of Mass Sins

BENNIE

I got lucky.

Joska was truly amazing, and whenever I doubted myself or didn’t find a way out of a situation, he was there to help me. He always found the right words to say, and he always made sure that I felt okay.

I had been anxious all day today because I knew Alexis would make a scene, but Joska took that anxiety from me quickly.

We stayed in my childhood bedroom for a while, but I needed to go downstairs to make sure Dad was okay. He wasn’t happy with Alexis behavior. “I want to go talk to Dad,” I told Joska, turning more toward him.

He nodded and brushed back my hair, then cupped my face with his hands. “Do you want to be alone with him for a moment?”

“No, I want you there.” I smiled at him and kissed his cheek before getting up from the bed. I reached down to take his hand. “Come.”

“Okay.” He got up and I led him downstairs to find Dad sit on the couch with his face in his hands.

I looked at Joska, and he gave me a small nod. “Go,” he whispered. “I’ll be right here.”

I watched him sit down on the recliner before I walked around the couch Dad was sitting on. I gently placed my hand on his shoulder as I sat down next to him. “Daddy, are you okay?”

He looked at me with a sigh, smiling tightly as his eyes met mine. “Sorry, darling. I just needed a moment to think. Are you feeling okay?” he asked, tugging me closer to his side.

“I’m feeling better. You?”

I was worried about him. Dad was always so protective over me, and whenever I hurt, he hurt too. I could tell he was holding back tears, and it broke my heart.

“I just don’t understand why she does this,” he muttered. “I tried so hard to be there for both of you. When you were sick, Bennie, I didn’t know what else to do but focus on keeping you alive. Maybe I neglected her, but I never stopped loving her.”

“You didn’t neglect her, Dad. She pushed herself away from you. And I’m certain that she knows that. I think she’s just hurting, and she lets it out on us.”

“I still feel like I failed as a father.”

“You didn’t fail. You did your best. You kept loving her through all of it. It’s not your fault she behaved this way.” I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his shoulder. “Please don’t blame yourself for this. You’ve been the best dad anyone could ever wish for.”

“But only one of my daughters appreciate me.” His voice was low. Trembling. The last time I had heard his voice be filled with this much pain was when I was sick. I hated it, and it broke me.

“I know deep down she appreciates and loves you. She just needs time.”

He nodded, but the sadness in his eyes lingered. “I just wanted her to be better than this. For you. For herself. I wanted her to be someone you could lean on, not someone who tears you down.”

I moved back slightly to look at him. “Maybe one day, she will be better. But for now, we have each other. And I have Joska. That’s more than enough.”

He took a deep breath and smiled before pressing a kiss to my forehead. “Good. And I know he’s a good man. I trust him to take good care of you, but if he does hurt you, I will murder him.”

“Fair enough.” Joska laughed. He grinned at us, knowing Dad was only joking. “But you don’t have nothing to worry about, Connor. I’ll protect and love her with everything I have.”

I smiled at him before turning to Dad again. “I love you, Dad. Thank you for everything.”

He pulled me into a tight hug, and I let him hold me the way he so often did when I was little. “Love you too, Bennie.”

As we sat there, with our arms around each other, I knew we would be okay. Alexis might have caused chaos, but it wouldn’t break us.

And maybe one day, she’d come back being the big sister I had before I got sick the first time.

Chapter 20

BENNIE

2 weeks later

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