Page 43 of Denial

The button-down shirt fits him like a second skin and outlines every ripple and muscle of his abdomen and chest. I want to rip the shirt from his body and run my hands down his muscled chest.

“You keep lookin’ at me like that, Sweet Girl, and we won’t be leavin’ the clubhouse,” he says, his voice lower and deeper as he pulls me into his body for a long hug where he rests his hands just above my ass.

I wrap my arms around his neck and hold him close as we break apart and he takes my hand before closing the door behind me and locking it. Jinx laces our fingers together and he leads me down to the common room where every table is full of men and women watching our every move. My dad stands from his seat and makes his way over to us.

“You look beautiful, Baby Girl. Have fun and we’ll see you later,” he says, placing a kiss on the top of my head before stepping back and letting Jinx lead me from the clubhouse.

In the parking lot, he doesn’t lead me to one of the SUVs or trucks. There’s a golf cart the club just bought sitting in front of the bikes and Jinx leads me there and helps me in the seat before jogging around to get behind the wheel.

“Where are we going, Carson?” I ask him, excitement filling me with the thought of still not knowing where he’s taking me.

“You’ll see in just a second,” he answers, a large smile on his face as he takes off and drives around the clubhouse and toward the field out back.

This has been my favorite spot since the day I moved here. The flowers are so many different colors creating a kaleidoscope that flows back and forth with the breeze. There’s deep purples so dark they almost appear black, light blues, pinks, whites, and every color in between. Someone even planted some sunflowers of varying colors before the wildflowers that stand tall and proud.

Jinx parks the golf cart at the edge of the field and steps out to help me from my seat. Once I’m standing he laces our fingers together once again. We walk through the field as the sun starts to set until we come to a small clearing. A small blanket has been laid out. In the upper corner is a picnic basket with a bundle of flowers resting on top of the basket. A few candles are placed around the blanket that don’t have actual flames so there’s no chance of fire around the flowers. In the middle of the blanket are pillows that we can use to lounge against so we’re not sitting straight up or laying down.

“Is this okay?” Carson asks me, nervousness filling his eyes as he looks down at me.

“It’s perfect, Carson. You know I’ve never been one for all the fancy shit and I’d rather do this than go out to a fancy restaurant that neither one of us are comfortable in. This right here is us,” I answer him honestly as he helps me sit down on the blanket after I remove my wedges and sits down next to me.

“I really thought the same thing. But, I was fully prepared to take you out to a fancy restaurant if that’s what you want. Got a reservation and everythin’,” he says, handing over the flowers that I lift to my nose and smell.

“No thank you. The only time I ever want anything fancy is when I get married. I’ve dreamed of my wedding since I was a little girl and it’s never changed. All of us girls used to talk about our weddings and plan them with one another. I guess I never really lost that dream and have been hanging onto it,” I tell him as he pulls me in closer and wraps his arm around my shoulders as I place a hand on his chest.

“We used to listen to you girls plan your weddin’. Every one of us boys would listen and laugh at the dreamy tone of your voices and the outlandish things you wanted for your big day. You were the only one I never laughed at, Sweet Girl. What you want is fancy, but it’s simple and not over the top like some of the other girls,” Carson says as he sits forward and pulls the picnic basket over to us.

I sit back against the pillows and watch as Carson pulls out a plate of pasta salad that I love and know my mom made. A plate of burgers follows the salad then he pulls out a large bowl of fries and two glasses with some water or orange juice. This is one of my favorite meals and I have a feeling my mom and Faith are the ones who prepared this for us.

“Carson, I can’t believe you did this. All of my favorite food, orange juice because you know I’m trying to drink more for the baby, and just us among the flowers as the breeze blows them gently back and forth. I thought this was perfect before you pulled all of this out. Now I know it’s going to be the best date I’ve ever been on,” I tell him, tears filling my eyes because I seem to cry over everything these days.

“Don’t cry, Sweet Girl. I want you to have the best time on our date and know this is what you’d want to eat. I’ve got dessert in the basket too,” he says as we make our plates of food and start eating.

For several minutes, neither one of us speaks as we relax against the pillows and watch as the sun continues to set above us. Carson and I are sitting so close to one another, our bodies touch from our shoulders to thighs. He pulled my legs over his so I’m angled closer to him. When we finish eating our dinner, we lay back against the pillows to watch as the stars start to shimmer in the sky as the world around us becomes dark. Fireflies come out to play among the flowers and the night just went from perfect to something even better.

Carson sits up when my stomach starts to growl again. It seems as if I’m always hungry these days and constantly want to eat. He digs around in the picnic basket and pulls out a plate that he keeps hidden from my view. I watch on as he digs inside his cut before he finally turns back to me and rests on one knee. My heart starts to race in my chest and my breath catches as I realize what’s about to happen.

“Hope, my Sweet Girl, over the years I have watched you grow from the tom boy who wanted to do everythin’ the boys were doin’ to the most amazin’ woman I’ve ever met. You have such a huge heart and give love and support to everyone around you no matter if you know them or not. This club means the world to you and you’re always willin’ to step up to do what’s needed without question or hesitation. I pushed my feelings for you away most of my life because I never once believed I’d be good enough for you. You’re the light that brightens up the world when it’s blanketed in darkness and the air that everyone needs to breathe a little easier on a daily basis.

“I have loved you my entire life and that love has only changed and grown over the years. I don’t have a ton of money and I can’t make sure that you have everything you’ll ever want, but I will give you the world and burn it down to ensure you’re always safe. I will spend my days lovin’ you and any children we bring into this world. You will never have to guess where you stand in my life because you’re the absolute center of my universe. Hope, will you do me the honor of becomin’ my wife and spendin’ the rest of our days lovin’ one another as much as we possibly can?” Carson says, making the tears filling my eyes spill over and roll slowly down my cheeks to fall on the blanket next to me.

“Yes, Carson! It would be an honor to become your wife,” I say, excitement filling me as Carson grabs my hand and slides the ring over my finger.

The second the ring is in place on my finger, Carson leans forward and presses his lips against mine. I don’t hesitate to deepen the kiss and show him just how much I love him. We spend forever kissing and running our hands over one another’s bodies before Carson pulls back and presses his forehead to mine as we keep our eyes closed while trying to get our breathing back under control. When we’re breathing normally again, Carson grabs our dessert and I’m in heaven. He packed a cheesecake topped with cherries and whip cream. Carson feeds me and we talk about what we want for our wedding day and where we can have it. It’s the best night I’ve ever had and I can’t wait to show my ring off to my friends, sister, mom, and the rest of the club.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Jinx

WHILE HOPE WAS getting ready for our date with her mom and sister, I was in with my dad, Devil, grandpa, and Killer. He told me we were gonna talk about the fact that Hope was pregnant and I was fully prepared for him to beat my ass for being with his baby girl. That’s not what happened at all though. Killer was happy and excited about our news and made sure that I knew he wasn’t going to kill me for it. We were in King’s room where all of his computer shit is. It’s the only way we could have privacy without everyone listening in. We’re not exactly keeping the baby a secret, but we also haven’t announced it to anyone yet either. I’m following Hope’s lead and letting her decide what she wants to do with this.

“Son, I know you believe I’m gonna beat your ass for gettin’ my girl pregnant. But, I know you’re not gonna leave her and the baby hangin’. You’re gonna step up and be the man your dad and grandpa taught you how to be. I’m not gonna sit here and tell you that you gotta go out and marry Hope because you’re gonna have a baby. At the same time, you better make an honest woman out of my Baby Girl. If that means you claim her as your ol’ lady, that’s fine. Don’t do anythin’ you’re not ready to live with, Carson,” Killer says as my dad, grandpa, and brother look on with smiles as if they knew what Killer was going to say.

“I don’t ever plan on leavin’ Hope or our child hangin’ on their own. I love her and am honestly excited to have a baby with her. It’s a lot quicker than what either one of us anticipated, but I wouldn’t change anythin’ about our situation. I just want you to know that we did take precautions so this wouldn’t happen, Killer,” I tell him as he leans back in his chair and King enters the room with his dad.

Everyone here is family and I don’t care if they listen to our conversation.

“That’s good to hear. I know my wife good enough to know that she’s gonna want to be here for every big milestone. You better prepare now to see us on a regular basis, Carson. I don’t have a problem bein’ down here with you guys, because Hope will always be my baby. I’m gonna embrace bein’ a papa to your little one and he or she will be spoiled as hell. Another warnin’ you need to know now,” Killer says as my dad and grandpa laugh their asses off.

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