Page 42 of Denial

“I’m happy. It’s really fast and we’re still so new, but I want our baby,” she says as if I’m going to turn my back on her and our child.

“I want our baby too. As long as your dad lets me live, I’ll be there every step of the way. I love you, Sweet Girl,” I tell her, leaning down and pressing my lips to hers as happiness fills me.

“I love you too, Carson,” she says once we break the kiss.

Once Doc hands over the prescription and pictures, I take Hope out to the waiting room where our family is waiting. We assure them everything is okay and that we don’t need to put Hope on bed rest or anything. Together we all return to the compound and spend the rest of our night helping the women and girls get settled in. Most of them look for Hope and we all stay close to her side as Doc returns and gives more medicine to those who need it. By the time we go up to our room in the clubhouse, we’re both so exhausted it’s all we can do to keep our eyes open to change for bed. Hope and I fall asleep immediately with her wrapped tight in my arms and her head on my chest. Life is about to change and become an even wilder ride than it already is. I’m here for every fucking second of it!

Chapter Twenty-Six

Hope

IT’S BEEN A week since we were rescued from that warehouse and the assholes who thought they had the right to take women and girls to serve whatever purpose they wanted us to fulfill. My purpose was for Garrison to use me in his pathetic attempt to get his hands on Morgan once again. Everyone else was there to be used and abused by the men in the warehouse until they were sold off to the highest bidder. King found a sight on the dark web where all the girls and women were up for auction. It disgusts me to know I was in the hands of such vile monsters, but they’ve all been taken out and that makes me extremely happy. Especially knowing that Becker is no longer breathing the same air as I am. That stupid fuck was burned to a crisp after the warehouse was cleared out and the guys made sure no one else needed to be saved. I wish Becker was burned alive, but he’s still dead and that’s all that matters.

I haven’t had any nightmares or anything since killing those three men. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what was going to happen because it was the first time I killed another person. Maybe it makes me a horrible person that I don’t feel remorse or guilt over the lives I took that day a week ago. I don’t feel anything about taking them out though. If they weren’t horrible men who got off on the fear and pain they inflicted on those weaker than them, I might not feel this way about things. However, knowing that these fuckers weren’t going to stop until someone forced them to stop is the reason I’m okay with taking them out.

My family and Jinx have been talking to me every single day about the blood now staining my hands. When I went for a walk with my dad a few days ago, he broke down in tears. He never wanted me to take the life of another person even though he trained me to do that if it comes down to choosing to live or let the person attacking me live, I will always choose myself. So, my dad and I spent hours in the wildflowers behind the clubhouse, something I’m truly thankful for here because it does remind me of home and the field behind the clubhouse there. We talked the entire time and I assured my dad that while I hope to never have to take another life again, I won’t hesitate to do so if I have to in order to protect myself and those around me.

Jinx and my dad have become even more protective of me and I didn’t believe that was possible. Since learning of the baby, neither one of them wants me to do much of anything. They don’t seem to understand that I’m still able to walk around, sit in the common room, help cook and clean, and do just about anything else I want to. Both of them follow me around and try to do everything for me. I haven’t gone off on them yet, but I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before I do. I’m not the girl who will sit on the sidelines while everyone else around me works and caters to my needs. Both men know this for a fact and yet they still believe that’s how I should be since I’m pregnant.

My dad did have a talk with Jinx about the fact that I’m pregnant. It was just the two of them in the room and no one else was allowed. Including Playboy or Slim. We all sat outside of the room they used to talk in and I couldn’t tear my eyes from the door hiding them from my gaze. I was expecting yelling, shouting, fighting, and maybe gunfire. None of that shit happened though. Jinx and my dad walked in the room, talked for over an hour, and then came back out as if nothing happened between the two of them. Jinx refuses to say what they talked about and I know my mom is trying to get my dad to tell her what happened between the two of them without success. It’s frustrating but I’m honestly not surprised because that’s just how these guys are.

All of the girls and women we saved have been returned to their homes and family members. The only one who didn’t leave the compound yet is Trinity. She has nowhere to go so Vault is allowing her to remain on the compound where she can remain safe and work through everything she’s been through during her captivity. The other ones who have nowhere to go are still in the hospital and they will have a place to go when they get discharged. Shy and Annabell go up to see them every single day while the rest of us go when we can. I try to go up every day, but it doesn’t always work for me with the way my dad and man are watching over me. For now, I’m just going to keep an eye on things the best I can and make sure everyone gets the help they need and deserve to move on with their lives.

Today, Jinx is taking me on a date. I have no clue where we’re going or what we’re doing for our date. The only thing I know is that it will be just the two of us for the first time since I got rescued. According to him we have to celebrate the baby, Becker being removed, and so many other things so there’s no choice but to go out. Plus, he said that I deserve to be taken on dates and treated like a queen. So, at least once a week, we’re going to have a date night even if we only stay in the clubhouse and lock ourselves away from the world around us. I’ve tried to ask him where we’re going, but he refused to tell me anything. I have no clue how to dress or anything because I don’t know what Jinx has planned. It’s frustrating just like the man himself.

My mom and Faith are going to come in to help me get ready as I step out of the shower and secure the towel my hair is wrapped in. Once I’m dried off and have a second towel wrapped around my body, I make my way into the room I share with Jinx at the clubhouse. Yeah, in the last week, all of my things have been moved into his room at the clubhouse and Trinity took over the room I was staying in. Anyway, I walk to the closet and look through all of my clothes and have no clue what to choose. If we’re going somewhere casual, I can wear a nice pair of jeans and a shirt. But, if we’re going somewhere fancy, then I need to dress according to what someone would wear in the establishment. It’s a toss-up as to what I need to wear.

“Hope, you’re not dressed,” my mom says, walking in the room and my sister following behind her.

“Of course I’m not dressed, Mom. I don’t know where the hell Jinx is taking me and have no clue what to wear. Do I need to wear a dress? What about a pair of jeans and one of my dressier shirts? The way I dress depends on where we’re going and Jinx won’t tell me a damn thing so I’m clueless,” I tell her as Faith walks up to stand with me at the closet.

“I’ll figure out what you can wear. Let Mom get your hair started, Hope. We’ll make sure you look amazing for Jinx,” Faith says, wrapping her arm around my shoulders and laying her head on my arm. “I’m so happy for you, sis. Are you happy?”

“I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, Faith. Moving here was the right choice to make. Even though I’ve been through hell and back, I’ll never regret coming here. I got my man and I’m living the life I want to live on my own terms,” I tell her honestly as she looks up at me with a smile on her face.

“Good. I only want you to be happy. And now we got a little one to prepare for. I’ll be here for you when he or she comes. I’m not doing anything that I can’t take time off from,” Faith says with a hint of sadness in her voice as she removes her arm from me and steps back so I can walk to our mom to get my hair taken care of.

“Faith, do what makes you happy. Please don’t feel as if you need to remain in Benton Falls just because it’s where Mom and Dad are. Live the life you want to live and find what makes you happy,” I tell my twin as she starts searching through the closet to find me clothes.

“I will, Hope. I’m just not sure what that looks like right now,” she says, her voice muffled as I sit in the chair my mom pulled from the desk.

I really hope that Faith finds what makes her happy. She’s always done everything in her power to make me happy and go along with the crazy shit I got up to over the years. Now I just want her to live for her and figure out what she needs in life to be happy. As happy as I am because she deserves nothing less than that.

“Faith, if you don’t want to live in Benton Falls, then don’t. I thought I saw something happening between you and Damon,” our mom says, her voice almost a whisper in case anyone is lingering in the hallway outside the door of our room.

“Damon is an asshole. He doesn’t know what the fuck he wants and I don’t want to deal with someone who has no clue what the fuck he wants in his life. Plus, I think he’s afraid of Dad and if a guy can’t get past his fear of the famed Killer, then it’s not anyone I want in my life. Dad is just a person at the end of the day and he wants to protect us. If Damon truly wanted to be with me, he’d step the hell up and make it known. No, I don’t see anything happening with him,” Faith says, hurt filling her voice as she starts pulling things out of the closet to examine them before putting each article of clothing back.

We drop the subject of Damon and Faith’s love life and get to work getting me ready for the date. The entire time we talk about everything but what’s happened to me and what I’ve done. No one wants me to think about that day and the blood I was coated in. So, we keep our conversation light and don’t get buried under a ton of feelings.

I’m ready to go on my date with Jinx. My mom curled my hair and left it hanging down my back with the exception of the top half. She put it up in some kind of knot where some longer strands hang down from either side of the knot. My make-up is done light with barely anything covering my face because I don’t typically wear make-up at all. I just don’t like it covering my face and making me feel as if I’ve got a layer of grime on me. That’s just how I feel when I have to wear the shit and I don’t see that changing any time soon. So, I’ve got some mascara on my lashes, a little eyeliner on, and some nude lip gloss that makes my lips look fuller than normal.

Faith picked out a little black dress that hugs my body like a second skin. It goes down to the middle of my thigh and I know my dad hates this dress. He always grumbles under his breath when I wear it. My sister chose a pair of wedge sandals to go with the dress so I’m not trying to wear heels or anything that I could trip and fall in. Not that Jinx would let me fall. She doesn’t want anything to happen to her niece or nephew so it was wedges. I love the outfit and know my feet won’t kill me from a pair of heels at the end of the night.

A knock on the door pulls my attention from the mirror I was just taking a final look at myself in. My mom and sister left a few minutes ago and I know in my gut Jinx will be standing on the other side of the door when I open it. So, I carefully make my way over and turn the handle as I pull the door toward me. My eyes instantly land on Jinx and I suck in a deep breath. He looks so amazing. Tonight he’s wearing a new pair of jeans with his standard pair of boots covering his feet. To go with the jeans, he’s wearing a dark blue button-down shirt that isn’t tucked in. Jinx has his cut on over the shirt because there’s no way he won’t wear that. Especially when we go out in public somewhere.

“You look gorgeous, Sweet Girl,” he finally says after letting his eyes travel slowly up and down my body as if in a soft caress against my skin. “I think you look amazing every damn day, but there’s somethin’ different about you today. Almost like you’re glowin’.”

“Thank you, Carson. You look really good, too,” I tell him, my mouth dry as I let my eyes travel down his body again.

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