Page 3 of Denial

“Morgan, how are you likin’ bein’ here in the clubhouse?” Devil asks her as she stops moving around the bar to look at him.

“It’s better than being homeless and afraid my ex is gonna find me,” she states, fear filling her eyes as she thinks of her ex.

None of us know what he did to her or what caused them to break up. We’re not going to push her for information she doesn’t want to share with us just yet. If it becomes a problem, we’ll deal with it at that time. For now, Morgan is entitled to her secrets and dealing with her past the way she sees fit. Since she’s been at the clubhouse, she hasn’t caused problems or gotten involved with the drama the Phantom girls seem to always want to stir up. These girls are fucking worse than any I’ve seen so far and that’s saying something with all the clubs we grew up around. Maybe they all need to meet Summer or one of her girls to find out how to act right.

Speaking of the Phantom girls, they walk into the common room led by Ice. She stares at me as I turn my back on her and I can hear her heels clicking along the floor as she makes her way over to me. It doesn’t take her long at all to get to my side and place her hand on my arm. I shake it off quickly before glaring up at her.

“What the fuck do you want?” I growl out, knowing I can’t be nice to her because she doesn’t understand that shit.

“Baby, you’re actually here at the clubhouse and I want to spend time with you,” she says, her voice like nails on a chalkboard as I shiver from the sound of it and roll my eyes.

“Not your fuckin’ baby and we’ve never spent time together. It’s not gonna change now. I’m sure there’s somethin’ you can clean or do around here. Ya know, like you’re supposed to be doin’ on a daily basis and don’t,” I state, anger filling me at the thought of her being a lazy bitch and making the ol’ ladies and Morgan do all the work when they’re here. “I think the toilets need to be scrubbed along with the rest of the bathrooms.”

Ice looks as if she’s going to be sick before plastering her fake as fuck smile back on her face like I’m joking.

“I don’t clean toilets. That’s disgusting,” she states with wide eyes before turning to face Morgan. “You heard Jinx. Go clean the bathrooms. It’s not like you’re fucking any of the guys so you should do something you’re useful at.”

“Excuse me?” Morgan questions, turning to face Ice as she sets down the towel she was using to dry the clean bar glasses.

“You heard me, Morgan. You don’t do a fucking thing around here. Get off your ass and go clean the bathrooms like Jinx said. I’m tired of you not listening to me. Either move your ass to clean or you can get the fuck out,” Ice says as we all turn to face the bitch just as Annabell and Savannah make their way into the common room without their kids.

“I know I didn’t just hear you right,” Annabell says, her voice louder than I’ve heard it before along with the edge letting us all know she’s fucking pissed. “Ice, you aren’t fucking shit around here and don’t tell anyone else what the fuck to do. I’m about done with your lazy ass and the fact that you do nothing around here. You’ve been told more than once to get off your lazy fucking ass and clean. So, I suggest you do it before you get thrown out on the streets you came from.”

“You can’t do that. You’re not the President of this club,” Ice states, not sensing the danger she’s putting herself in as Vault gets off his stool and makes his way over to his wife to wrap his arms around her and pull her body into his.

“Annabell is my fuckin’ queen and you were all told when you came in the door of this clubhouse that her word is fuckin’ law. My ol’ lady says you’re out, then you’re fuckin’ out. She tells you to clean, you fuckin’ clean. If she wants you to get off your lazy fuckin’ ass, then you get up. Annabell and Savannah outrank every single one of you followed by Hope. Morgan is also above all of you because she doesn’t spread her legs for every man in here and actually does what she’s supposed to do. None of them will do anythin’ you skanks should be doin’. If you choose not to clean, cook, or anythin’ else here in the clubhouse, you’re gone. You’ve all been warned more than once and this is the last fuckin’ straw. Finally, if you touch a man in this clubhouse without his permission, you will be gone. That shit is fuckin’ desperate and none of them want it. They’re more than outspoken enough to fuckin’ tell you when they want to fuck you or have you suck them off. You will never be an ol’ lady to any of these guys. Get it out of your fuckin’ head. Ice, go clean the fuckin’ bathrooms,” Vault growls out, his body vibrating with the anger coursing through him as Ice turns and stares at him for several seconds.

“He’s not fucking kidding, Ice. Get in the fucking bathrooms and clean them. I will personally be checking them. If I find out the guys, Morgan, or anyone else did the work instead of you, you’ll be kicked out immediately. I’m done playing these fucking games with you all. I suggest to the rest of you that if you want to be here, don’t follow Ice’s lead and you’ll be just fine. She’s nothing but a fucking skank and will get your ass kicked out quicker than shit,” Annabell says as Ice finally moves to do what she’s told with a loud as fuck shriek as she stomps in her heels away from all of us.

At the same time, the main door of the clubhouse opens and Hope storms inside. She doesn’t look at any of us. I can see the tears rolling down her face and every instinct I have is telling me to go to her and find out what’s wrong. To beat any motherfucker who made her hurt or upset. Instead, I remain sitting on my stool. Just before Hope goes upstairs to her room, she turns to face the room and watches as Morgan places her hand on my arm to get my attention. I watch on as Hope’s face falls with undeniable pain as more tears fall from her eyes. My heart stalls in my chest as her blank mask falls back in place and she races up the stairs to her room. I wait for the sound of her door to slam, but it never comes. Hope isn’t one to throw a tantrum for any reason and today is no different despite her being upset over something.

“The fuck you gonna do about that, Jinx?” King questions me, his voice barely more than a growl as I turn to face my best friend and ignore Morgan.

“What are you talkin’ about?” I return, not sure what he’s getting at despite knowing it involves his cousin.

“You think I didn’t see what just fuckin’ happened? My cousin turned to look at you, and only you. At the same time as Morgan put her hand on your arm in a way that suggests more than the friendship you claim to have with her. I’m not sure what the fuck is goin’ on with my cousin, but I will be figurin’ it out. I also saw the way your entire body tensed up. You were ready to fuckin’ go to her, but hold yourself back. Why? Is Hope not fuckin’ good enough for you? Are you more than fuckin’ friends with Morgan? Cause she’s the only one you spend any fuckin’ time with for the last six months. And you’re not one to go without sex. Never known you to go without bein’ attached to one girl or another,” King states, his voice getting angrier with every word he speaks because this is about Hope and she’s his family. Our friendship means nothing up against that to him and I don’t blame him at all.

“Hope is more than good enough for me, King. She’s too fuckin’ good for me if we’re bein’ honest. I didn’t go to her because there’s no point in me goin’ to comfort her. If that’s what she wanted, she’d let me know. Hope isn’t fuckin’ shy and goes after what she wants. It’s the entire reason she’s here in Pine View with us. I’m not fuckin’ Morgan or anyone else. If I were, I don’t have to fuckin’ tell you everythin’ about my life, King. You might be my best friend, but you kept shit from me that I’d never keep from you. Important shit that comes from that fuckin’ day. I’ve been there for you through everythin’ and I didn’t know the biggest fear you have now. So, don’t come at me with this bullshit just because it’s about Hope,” I state, anger filling me because King did blindside us with his bomb that he wasn’t gonna patch into the club with the rest of us.

“King, I promise you that I’m nothing more than friends with Jinx. He’s helped me through the shit with my ex and healing after the storms. If he wants Hope, or anyone else, I’m not gonna stand in the way of that,” Morgan speaks up, her voice barely above a whisper as she stands in front of King who’s still seething with rage.

“You already are, Morgan. Every fuckin’ time Hope sees Jinx, you’re with him. Hangin’ off him or laughin’ with him. You two sit practically on top of one another. My cousin has been in love with this man since she learned what love is. She’s watched him go out with one girl after another and never givin’ her a second of his time. Now, for the last six months, she’s watched you take all his fuckin’ time. You’ve got him drivin’ you around, takin’ his time here, and everythin’ else. Yet you’re not fuckin’ him or wantin’ to fuck him. Not believin’ a single thing you got to say,” King says, getting off his stool and heading out of the common room as everyone else stares at us.

I get off my own stool and head for my room. I’ve got nothing to say to anyone here right now. They all see the situation with Morgan as more than it is. We are only friends. Last I knew, it was okay for a guy and girl to be friends with one another without having sex and shit. King is best friends with Zoey and no one questions the two of them. I mean, I don’t act the same way with Morgan as he does with Zoey. For now, I just need to be alone and stay away from everyone. Anger fills me and I know Morgan is going to be upset and embarrassed with what just happened. For the first time in six months, I’m not there for her. She’s going to have to deal with this shit on her own so I can calm the fuck down after my best friend just chewed me a new ass for no reason. My thoughts go to Hope and I wonder what the fuck is going on with her. As I fall asleep, she’s the last image I have before my dreams fill with her and the future we could have if I stopped denying my feelings for her.

Chapter Two

Hope

FRUSTRATION IS MY new best friend. Since moving to Pine View with the club, it seems someone has taken over from my dad. I can’t date and barely get to hold a conversation with a man before they race off and I never see them again. This has happened more times than I can count. When I confronted King about being the one to scare the guys away from me, he denied the claim and I could tell he was being honest because of the shock filling his face. King truly has no clue about what’s going on or who’s talking to these guys to make them leave me alone. It's like I have the fucking plague or something that repels men when all I want to do is get to know someone and make friends that aren’t tied to the fucking club. Growing up in the Phantom Bastards MC means I know every single person in the clubhouse better than anyone else. I know almost every dirty secret about them and have heard plenty of stories of everything the guys I moved to Pine View with and what they prefer in every aspect of their lives. It’s fucking annoying.

Now, they have the Phantom girls that were brought into the clubhouse since we moved here and they get with the guys on a daily basis. I’ve seen and heard it more than I want to admit. The one that hurts the most is Jinx. He spends all of his time with Morgan and has been for the last six months. I’ve watched her flirt with him, spend all of her free time next to him, and everything else. I know as much of her story as everyone else does. My dad and Jinx saved her after she was buried under a building that had fallen on top of her or something. She was hiding from an abusive ex-boyfriend and now the club has given her a room at the clubhouse, a job, and she gets to spend all of her time with Jinx. If Morgan needs to go somewhere, Jinx is right there to take her. It’s fucking annoying as hell and there’s nothing I can do to stop the way I feel about the situation. So, that’s why I’ve been intent on going out and finding my own friends and maybe someone to date. A man who will take away the thoughts, feelings, and pain of loving a man I’ll never have as my own.

My cousin has definitely partaken with the Phantom girls. I walked into the common room just last night to find King fucking one of them on the pool table. Her fake tits didn’t move an inch and her porn star moans filled the room as if she were being murdered instead of fucked. My cousin is into some kinky shit and it’s not anything I want to witness ever again. This morning, I couldn’t even look him in the fucking eye when he joined me for breakfast. I’m sure King is wondering why the hell I’m acting weird with him, but I don’t care. No, it’s not the first time I’ve seen the guys of the club have sex. It’s different as hell when it’s your family though. I will never ask the guys to change the way they are or how they do things. They live this life because of the freedom they get and I refuse to take that from them.

I’m going to have to start walking in through the back of the clubhouse to get to my room or find my own apartment. I think that’s honestly what I’ll do. There’s no need for me to live in the clubhouse when I can get my own place. I have enough money saved to rent an apartment and a weekly paycheck in order to pay the bills. There’s no reason why I have to live in the clubhouse. My dad didn’t make me promise I’d stay on the compound for any reason. I will keep him informed of my decision and he can come check out the apartment I want before I sign my name on the dotted line if that makes him happy. He knows Valor and King will do all the security and I’m hoping that’s enough for him to not give me hell about finding my own place. I’ve also got to convince Vault it’s the right move to make for myself. He’s gonna be another tough one to talk to about this.

Thinking of everything I need to do in order to start looking for an apartment, I pull up the classified ads in the local paper online and start searching to see if there’s anything available. I really don’t have high hopes right now considering that so many others are homeless and looking for places to live. So many people here lost everything in the storms and we’ve all been doing everything we can to ensure they find a home and are able to start over once again. Part of me feels guilty for possibly taking a home from one of these people, but my mental health is at stake right now and this is something I need to do for me. I just hope everyone understands my need to be alone and not with the guys at the clubhouse any longer.

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