Page 25 of Denial

“Yes,” I breathe out as he stands in front of me and leans down for a kiss.

Jinx devours my mouth as our tongues tangle and duel for control of the kiss. I like this side of Jinx. He’s not letting me control the kiss as I finally give in to his silent demands and he takes what he wants. Jinx tangles his fingers in my hair and pulls just a little bit as he continues to devour me. I don’t hold in my moan from the sensations filling me as I reach up and run my hands up Jinx’ shirt to feel his muscles quiver and bunch under my touch. It makes me feel powerful to elicit a reaction from him. When Jinx finally pulls back, he slowly slides his eyes open and stares at me.

“Wakin’ up with you in my arms this mornin’ was the best fuckin’ feelin’ in the world,” he finally tells me, his voice full of the emotions running through his eyes.

“I wouldn’t know,” I say, giving him a little bit of sass because I can.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to get breakfast started before you woke up. I was hopin’ that you wouldn’t wake up before I was done,” he tells me, a slight blush covering his cheeks as he continues to look at me.

“It’s okay, Jinx. I didn’t take a shower because you weren’t up here. I know you’re not comfortable with me in the shower alone if you’re not in the bedroom. And I wasn’t going to call in the therapist to stand with me. I’ll take one after I get out of the pool if you wouldn’t mind helping me today,” I tell him, my voice almost a whisper as I stand and grab my cane so we can leave the bedroom.

“Of course I’ll help you, Sweet Girl,” he says as if I’m crazy and should already expect him to help me in the shower when we’re still just figuring things out.

We walk out to the kitchen to find King, Bronx, and Raptor already sitting at the table. They all look up and smile at me as Jinx helps me into my seat next to King. Raptor offers a small smile before pulling his eyes from me. I can’t keep doing this shit with him.

“Raptor, I’ve grown up with you and know that you’re taking what happened to me on your shoulders. I told you in the hospital that it wasn’t your fault and I’m gonna tell you again now. If you had been with me, Raptor, you could have been hurt or worse by this stupid fucker. Do you honestly think I could deal with knowing something happened to you because of me? I couldn’t. I would feel so much worse than you currently do because I would know without a doubt that your pain and suffering was caused by me. If the prick had managed to take you from us, I would have disappeared because I would never be able to face Wood, Boy Scout, or your mom ever again,” I state, my voice wavering with the thought of something happening to Raptor because of me as tears fill my eyes.

Jinx swoops in and lifts me in his lap as he wraps his arms around me. I bury my face in his chest and let the tears flow as I hear someone else enter the kitchen and pull out a seat at the table with us. Instead of looking to see who it is, I keep my face buried.

“You’re right, Hope. I know I shouldn’t feel guilty or anythin’, but I can’t help it. You’re in your early fuckin’ twenties and have to use a cane to get around. We almost fuckin’ lost you and then I had to make the phone calls to Jinx and Vault to let them know what had happened. Worst fuckin’ calls I’ve ever had to make in my life,” Raptor says, his voice gruff with emotion as I finally look up at him to see my therapist has joined us at the table with her standard breakfast of a protein shake and nothing more.

“But I’m still here, Raptor. I won’t have to use the cane forever. It’s just something for now as I continue to build my muscles back up. I get weak as the day wears on and it just ensures I don’t fall and hurt myself again. As you can see, it didn’t take me long to stop using the walker. If I keep busting my ass and working hard, I don’t see myself having to use the cane for a long period of time either. Please, give me back my friend and stop letting the guilt eat away at you,” I plead with him as Raptor stands from his seat and leans over to press a kiss against the top of my head before sitting back down to finish his breakfast.

Jinx pulls my plate and cup of orange juice over in front of him as he continues to hold me. I eat everything on my plate because I know it’s the only way I’ll have the strength to get through one of my therapy sessions. The one time I didn’t eat a full breakfast, I couldn’t make it through the entire session without almost collapsing as I started to shake uncontrollably. We all make small talk and leave the heavy subjects alone as we finish our food. King and Raptor get up to clear the table while Bronx starts washing the dishes and setting them in the drying rack next to the sink. Jinx helps me stand and makes sure I have my cane before I head to the gym with my therapist so she can torture me some more.

I worked for almost two hours straight before my therapist let me get in the pool. Today is one of the days it didn’t help my muscles and it hurt with every move I made. Jinx was with me and didn’t let me out of his arms as I tried to swim around the shallow end of the pool to continue working the muscles that want to give out on me. When I’m ready to get out, Jinx carries me to our room and helps me shower before drying me off and helping me get in bed so I can take a nap. The days when I’m so damn sore the pool doesn’t help, I always take a nap for a few hours because I’m so exhausted and can’t force myself to remain up to do anything around the cabin. My body needs a break and I listen to what it’s telling me without trying to push too hard.

Before I take a nap today though, I want to talk to my dad. It’s been a few days since we talked and I want to hear his voice and find out how everything is going back home. Yes, Pine View is my home now and it’s where I’m meant to be. Jinx hands me the burner phone King gave me before we even left Pine View. My cell phone is shut off and sitting in my room at the clubhouse so if anyone is able to track it while it’s shut off, it will show me in the city and not several hours away. I will do everything in my power to keep the men with me safe so no one heard a word of complaint from me.

“I’m gonna leave you alone to talk to your dad. If you need me, just call out and I’ll be back. I’ll get you somethin’ for lunch before you sleep. Do you want me to lay down with you after lunch?” Jinx asks me as I try to get comfortable in bed.

“Please. I have a feeling I’m going to wake up with a cramp in my legs again and they’re so painful,” I tell him, knowing we do everything we can to prevent the cramps from happening, but nothing is a hundred percent effective.

“Okay. I’ll make sure King knows you’re callin’ home and that you’re gonna take a few extra minutes today. He’s got the signal jammers or somethin’ up that will allow you to use the phone while no one else will be able to track you. Not that it’s easy to track a burner phone. He’s still takin’ every precaution he can,” Jinx informs me as he gives me a kiss on my forehead before leaving the room to make us some lunch.

Calling my dad’s phone, I listen to it ring and think he’s going to let my call go to voicemail with how long it rings.

“Baby Girl, are you okay?” he asks, answering at the very last second possible and sounding out of breath.

“I’m as good as I can be. Are you okay? What’s going on, Dad?” I ask him, instantly alert because my dad is never out of breath for any reason.

“I’m okay, Hope. We’re in the middle of dealin’ with some shit at the clubhouse. I’m gonna tell you somethin’ but I don’t want you to worry. We have everythin’ under control and there’s no need for you to panic,” he tells me as I instantly start to panic while trying to think of everything that could possibly be wrong back home.

“You know telling me not to panic is only going to make me do it, right?” I question him, fear filling my voice as I start to play with the edge of the blankets on the bed.

“I know, Baby Girl. We’re dealin’ with a fire here at the clubhouse. None of us know too much about how it was started, but it’s damaged the back of the buildin’. We got the fire out and the fire department is here now to make sure it’s really out and won’t start blazin’ once again. They’re also startin’ an investigation into where the fire started and why. It’s a new buildin’, only a few years old, so I don’t believe this is faulty wirin’ or any of that other bullshit. Someone started this fire on purpose and didn’t realize as many of us were here as we are. Thankfully, we all just got back to the clubhouse for a break from lookin’ for those people. We’ve got the Wild Kings with us and they’re helpin’ do what they can,” my dad informs me as I hear muffled noises coming from the other end of the phone.

“Did anyone get hurt?” I question him, sitting up as straight as I can in the bed while tears fill my eyes and my hands start shaking.

“No, Baby Girl. No one got hurt. Morgan alerted us to the smell of smoke fillin’ her room and we all rushed to the back to find the fire. Vault made sure to have a fire system installed in the clubhouse and pulled the trigger while the rest of us grabbed the fire extinguishers they have stashed around the clubhouse. Between all of us, it didn’t take long to put the fire out. The fire department showed up just as the last of the flames were bein’ extinguished. Shy and Annabell got the women and kids out and kept them away from the clubhouse for now. We won’t be able to stay in here so Annabell is splittin’ everyone up between the houses on the property. Your mom, Faith, and myself are stayin’ with Playboy and Sam in Jinx’ house. I’m sure you’ll come home to a fully furnished house if that’s where you both choose to live,” my dad informs me, his voice fading in and out as I hear him walking around and others yelling in the background.

“Dad, call me if anything changes please. I’ll let you go so you can help take care of everything. Please be careful. I love you, Mom, and Faith so much,” I tell him as the first tears spill over and roll down my face as Jinx makes his way back in the bedroom with our lunch.

“We love you too, Baby Girl. I’ll call you when things settle down here,” he says before hanging up.

I’m not even mad that he just hangs up on me. It’s how all the guys are when they’re on the phone. At first it used to hurt my feelings because it made me feel as if he couldn’t be off the phone fast enough. Then I realized all the guys did the same thing because they hate phones in general and only use them when it’s absolutely necessary. Well, at least our dads feel that way.

“What’s wrong, Sweet Girl?” Jinx asks, rushing up to the bed and pulling me into his arms as I set the phone down next to me.

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