Page 80 of Kings of Violence

He kisses the nape of my neck. “Like this? I’ll take you from behind. You can keep kissing Nikolai. We’ll all make each other feel good.”

“Yes,” I whisper.

Usually I’d be more apprehensive, more aware of the fact that the clock is ticking and they still haven’t put me on birth control, but today…

Today, I can’t bring myself to care.

I keep stroking Nikolai, kissing him, but then I pause to look at Konstantin. It’s like I need to see him, to feel him too, to know he’s still here.

He leans in to kiss the side of my mouth, his beard soft against my skin. Then he looks over to Yuri.

I watch in strange fascination as Konstantin leans closer to Yuri, and Yuri closes the distance between them to kiss him.

I never, ever would’ve seen that coming.

At first, I don’t know what to make of it, but when they draw back — breathless from kissing each other, even while they touch me — I find myself whispering, “More.”

“More?” Konstantin asks.

I swallow hard, nodding slightly, then kiss Nikolai as though it’ll change what I’ve just requested, as though they’ll suddenly be able to understand what I’m after. Nikolai runs his fingers through my wet hair, catching on a few knots that he gently untangles.

“What do you want more of?” Yuri asks. He settles his hand on my hips, gently caressing my ass.

I breathe out shakily, trying to give myself more time. I’ve never thought two men kissing could be so alluring before, but between Yuri’s cock rubbing against my ass and the thought of the two of them being so intimate… It’s strangely appealing, and I don’t know why. I don’t know how.

I’ve known Kyran likes men for a long time; I’d stumbled across his porn. I know what he watched. It had neveraffectedme.

This, though? This does.

I shake my head, though, not sure how to say it.

“She wants to see you kiss more,” Nikolai says matter-of-factly, his hand sliding between my legs.

“Oh.” Yuri laughs and nips my shoulder. “Just me and Kotya?”

“I—”

Nikolai’s fingers find my clit, cutting off my words, and I shudder. “She’s wet,” he announces.

“I’m in the shower,” I say dumbly.

Nikolai laughs, and he nudges my legs apart.

Yuri gets closer, and his cock slides between my legs, pressing insistently against my cunt. I bite my lip to stifle a groan, only for Konstantin to run his fingers over my mouth.

“No need to be quiet on our account,” Konstantin says. “Whatever you’re feeling, we want to hear it.”

I don’t know that Icanlet them hear it. I don’t know that I can do any of this. And honestly, I really just want to cry.

But no.

Instead, I kiss Konstantin’s fingers, then I hesitantly take them into my mouth, sucking gently on them. Just to see his reaction, I tell myself. Not for any other reason. Not because I want to bring him pleasure.

His eyes flutter, and even over the rush of water I can hear him exhale. Nikolai continues to massage my breasts, and Yuri is sliding his cock over my cunt, back and forth, teasing me.

It all feels strangely dreamy, even though I know I should be horrified.

But in terms of horrific things that have happened in my life, this isn’t anywhere near the worst.

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