Page 79 of Kings of Violence

But it is.

“I’m sorry I had to shoot him while he was still touching you,” Nikolai says, and he sounds almost subdued. “But I couldn’t risk him moving and trying to shield himself with your body.”

“If you hadn’t, I would have,” Yuri growls. “I’m sorry I didn’t protect you more, Sierra.”

I laugh again. “Oh my god,” I lament. “You’re all secretly saps.”

“Yes.” Konstantin pulls away from me, and I whimper at the loss of his body. “Shh,” he says gently. “I’m just getting shampoo so we can wash you off.”

Nikolai touches where Konstantin had been, right over my stomach, then presses closer to me. He says something in Russian, and his voice is perplexed.

Yuri moves his hand to cup my chin, and I meet his worried eyes. “Sierra… Talk to us. We’re here for you.”

I blink a few times, unsure of whether it’s water from the shower or tears on my face. “Talk to you,” I repeat. “About what? About… about blood?” I shudder, but when I try to look away, his grip becomes firm.

“About what you’re feeling,” Yuri says. He lets out a small snort. “I’m a hypocrite, I know. But that is what the jail therapist said. Better to talk than to let it fester.”

“Therapist.” I can’t help but laugh, too. “Kyran wanted me to see a therapist. Ma and Pa said no. Absolutely not.”

Nikolai kisses the side of my head. It’s not like he’s going to offer to send me to therapy. Anyone worth their salt would put these three behind bars and send me to the psych ward along the way for starting to give a fuck about what their fate might be if I told the wrong person what they’d done.

“Why did your brother want you to see a therapist?” Konstantin asks, and I realize now I shouldn’t have mentioned anything at all.

“No reason,” I say quickly.

Yuri’s eyes widen, and I can tell when things click for him. “Because of what happened to your other brother? You said you saw it?”

I don’t want to think about Neil.

I don’t want to think about any of this.

So instead of responding, I lean up and kiss him. I kiss him, then I kiss Nikolai, then I reach for Konstantin, fumbling around because all I want to do isforget.

Konstantin pulls me flush against him as he kisses me. One of them starts washing my hair, and the other soaps up my side, and I feel strangely grateful for all three of them.

They’re the ones who put me into this position.

But they’re dragging me out of the dark, too.

Konstantin breaks the kiss, and I whimper, trying to chase the contact. “Shh, Sierrochka. Here, kiss Nikolai.” He turns me to face Nikolai, who immediately takes me into his arms and presses his lips to mine. Konstantin’s hand travels down my back, soothing me. All the while, the warm water pelts down on us.

Someone tilts my head back — Yuri, I think — and starts to rinse my hair, and as the water sluices away the soap and the filth that had been beneath it, I feel something in me start to calm down. Not much, not enough. But it’s enough to where I can kiss Nikolai back even at this strange angle.

One of his hands goes to my breast, thumbing over my nipple, and another goes to rest at the small of my back.

I don’t know why I’m encouraging them, except Idowant to feel good. I deserve to enjoy myself, don’t I?

So I reach for Nikolai’s cock and begin stroking it, and he groans appreciatively.

“Good,” Konstantin murmurs, petting my head. “Which of us do you want inside you, Sierrochka?”

Usually, I’d be quick to say,none of you. But today? Today, I want to be filled and stretched and pleasured, and they’re so eager to please.

Maybe I need to have freak-outs more often, if it means I’m going to get all of their attention in the best of ways.

“Yuri,” I find myself saying, not even sure why I pick him. But he’s the one who has the most intense feelings for me, isn’t he? He’s the one who wants me the most. He’s the one who can satisfy this need. Isn’t he?

“Okay,” Yuri agrees, and he steps in behind me. I can feel hiscock pressing against my ass. He must already be hard—all just from washing me?

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