Page 39 of Hockey Heart

My chest sunk as I remembered her eyes earlier, the way she looked at me. Two sparkling emerald pearls that spoke to me in ways I have never been spoken to before. How warm her skin was, the fizz of excitement when she ran her fingertips along my collarbone, her tiny pretty wrists, that intoxicating scent that I couldn’t help closing my eyes to savor the memory of.

My shell was cracking. I’d spent so long alone that I really believed I didn’t need anyone else. But now, I wasn’t so sure. What I’d thought and how I felt were at odds. Everything I’d given to Maiden - safety, warmth, love - I’d forgotten to give myself. I’d put it all out of mind. For once, I’d gotten to feel all of those things, a glimpse of what that would be like. But, like it had always been, it was taken away from me. Maybe I truly was unloveable, but for once, couldn’t it stay, if only for a little longer?

25

AN INVITE

Sarah

It might have been the right thing to do, but there really was no getting rid of him.

“Hey there,” he said, looking absolutely gorgeous in his shades, tight jeans stretched around tree trunk legs, a pristine white t-shirt, and an open button-up shirt flowing around him in the sunlight.

I blushed and smiled back uncomfortably, crossing my arms across my chest.

“Hi,” Maiden waved at me cheerfully.

I smiled at him as he ran off into the classroom with Marvin and went straight up to Matthew Locklear. It was heartwarming to see how they’d become friends now.

“So… Um, about last night…” It was strange seeing such a big intimidating man looking so worried about choosing his words.

“It’s okay Hayden, we had a few drinks and got a bit carried away. You don’t have to explain. I mean The Bodyguard does things to people.”

He smiled at that, but in a sad kind of way. Those big eyes looked so real. I wanted him to be real, but he couldn’t be.

When there were no more words from either of us, he frowned and said, “Okay, sure.”

He turned to leave and then stopped, looking back to tell me, “Sarah, it’s a great movie, and the wine was nice and all, but I don’t think that’s what last night was about.”

His face was deeply serious and there was something new and intense in his look, a longing maybe?

“It was nice Hayden, we can leave it at that.”

“Orrr…” His eyebrow climbed up his forehead as he dragged out the sound.

I looked back at him, narrowing my eyes and trying to read what he was about to say. “Or?”

“Crazy thought. I could use a date for this thing on Wednesday.”

Was he serious? Hayden Raynor, the man who didn’t date, was askingmeon a date.

It was ludicrous, but I couldn’t stop myself from asking, “What thing?”

“It’s like a Mayor’s Ball thing, probably a bit stuffy. I don’t know if it’s your thing.” He stroked the back of his neck and looked up at me nervously.

I half-scoffed. It had to be a joke. It was the socialite soiree of the year, the kind that you looked at all the photos of the next day to see who wore what.

“You meantheMayor’s Ball!”

“Uh, yeah. I think there’s only one Mayor,” he said, before adding, “Oh, there’s free drinks!”

“Hayden, I know what the Mayor’s Ball is!”

“Oh, so what do you think?”

I’d made my mind up already. This was going too far,getting too deep. I could only see myself being embarrassed, abandoned, and probably humiliated again if I let myself do this.

“Um, I’m sorry, Hayden. I can’t do Wednesday.”

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