Page 133 of Gracefully Yours

It felt like as much of a vow as our marriage had been.

Always.

“I’m on yours too, you know,” I said, my words barely audible. A breath.

“I know.”

And then he kissed me like it was true.

Like there was nothing that could ever pull us apart.

I could only hope that nothing would.

* * *

Danieland I had found our rhythm, but the sinking feeling in my gut lingered. Our nightly ritual of eating and cuddling was comforting, but it couldn’t bridge the gap between us. I didn’t know what to do.

Maybe I was a coward. That was the best explanation for it.

“What’s this?” He picked up the envelope, and I froze.

Shit. It was an accident that I left it out. I had a vague memory of tucking it away in a drawer, but it obviously hadn’t been. I could only blame that on my sluggish nature over the past week, because my brain clearly was malfunctioning from a lack of sleep. Even my mid-day naps weren’t helping.

“It’s nothing.” I waved him off, trying to grab it from his hands, but since he had nearly a foot on me, it was no use.

He held it above his head, and when I finally gave up, slinking against the counter, he opened the envelope and read the paper.

“You got offered a job in California?” He raised an eyebrow. “Charlotte… What is this?” He looked crushed. Absolutely devastated.

What was that expression everyone always used to say? The calm before the storm? Of course, now that everything was perfect, something would come up to derail everything.

Why’d I been ignoring that feeling in my gut for so long?

I shook my head. “It’s not what you think. I didn’t even apply.”

“But you want to do it? You want to go home?” The way he said home broke my heart. Didn’t he know that this was my home?

Thathewas my home?

I winced. “It’s a wonderful opportunity, sure, but—” But no, I didn’twantto go. He was my husband, and I didn’t want to leave him. I didn’t want to be apart from him, or the life we were building together. Even though I wasn’t sure what the future would bring, I knew that much.

“If we weren’t married, would you go?”

“I…” I blinked. Would I?Maybe. “But wearemarried.” And we’d been trying to have a baby. Even if it was early April and I’d been off my birth control for four months. I wasn’tthatnaïve, I knew these things took time.

“You should go.”

“What?” My mouth dropped open.

“If it’s your dream, if it’s what you want—you should go.”

I blinked. “Daniel. You’re… You can’t be serious?” My mouth dropped open. “You want me to leave you? What about us? Our marriage?”

He looked up at me, his eyes wounded. Had I really hurt him this badly? I hadn’t even asked for this. “I don’t want you to give things up because of me.”

“I’m not giving anything up. I’m just choosingyou.” My fingers traced the contours of his face as I cupped his cheeks. “Because I love you, okay? I love you, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“Charlotte—” His eyes were glassy, and I searched them for answers.

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