Page 9 of Gracefully Yours

Her breath caught as I pulled her onto my lap, smoothed out a strand of hair and pushed it behind her ear. She had it styled in two little buns on top of her head today, with pieces hanging out the front. It was adorable, and so different from the ballerina buns she normally wore.

“What are you doing?” she whispered.

“Close your eyes,” I instructed.

She did, her eyelids fluttering shut, and I rubbed my thumb over her cheekbone as I cupped her face.

I had never held Charlotte like this—had never imagined I would actually touch her like this—and I wanted to savor it.

But I also wanted to kiss her more than anything else.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” I whispered, and she gave a tiny nod of permission as I pulled her mouth towards mine and connected our lips.

Just a press, the lightest of touch against her mouth. Simple, sweet. Like it should be. Charlotte kept her eyes shut, but her hands moved from her side and found their way behind my neck, intertwining, before she sighed against my mouth.

I kissed her again, longer this time. Wondering how far we would both go before we called this thing off. Knowing I needed to hold myself back as much as I needed her—this.

But when she swept her tongue into my mouth, I almost lost it. I pulled away.

Charlotte looked disappointed, like all she wanted was to sit here, in my lap, and make out with me.

“What, did you not like it?” She sounded hurt.

“No, it’s not that…” I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to find the right words. “I don’t want to mess things up between us. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”

“I understand.” She nodded, but moved off of my lap, back to our original position.

You’re more important than anything else, I wanted to tell her.

I care about you so much; I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.

If you let me love you, I’d never do anything else for the rest of my life.It was on the tip of my tongue.

But I didn’t say that. I didn’t say any of that. I just kept being her best friend.

* * *

SENIOR YEAR

“Marry me.” I looked over at Charlotte as she sat next to me, eyes focused on the laptop screen in front of us.

I think her jaw dropped open as she paused the show and sat in front of me. “What? I’m sure I heard you wrong.”

Fuck, that came out all wrong. “I was just thinking. If we’re both still single when we turn thirty, we should get married.”

Char bit her lip, and I popped another piece of popcorn into my mouth.

“But you’re my best friend.”

I nodded. “That’s why it would work. Come on, Char, it’s a good option. If neither of us finds someone, we should marry each other. I know I can put up with you, and I can take care of you.”

“You’re proposing we get married just because we get along?”

“Think about it.” I hoped she didn’t think I was insane. I just needed her to agree to this—to something, because I’d be graduating in a few months, and it felt like everything was going to change. But I didn’t want it to. “If neither one of us finds anyone in the next eight years, we can just do it together.Life. We both want a family. It makes sense.”

“Okay,” she said.

“Okay, you’ll think about it?”

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