Page 53 of Architect's Christmas Nanny

“Of his own feelings,” Rachel said thoughtfully. “Maybe. And maybe he’s afraid to change anything with you.”

“Things are going to change either way,” Jillian pointed out, heading back to the window.

“You know,” Rachel said thoughtfully. “He’s not the only one who can open up right now.”

“You thinkIshould say something?” Jillian asked dubiously, stopping in her tracks.

“Why not?” Rachel asked after a moment of letting her suggestion sink in.

“I… I don’t know,” Jillian replied honestly.

It wasn’t actually that she thought women should be pursued instead of doing the pursuing—some men probably needed a push. But she would never have thought of Brad Williams as one of them. The man was always in control.

“I’m not getting a sense of sadness about this from you today,” Rachel said. “For the very first time, I feel like you’re frustrated.”

“I guess I am,” Jillian realized out loud.

“You said,most things are really great,” Rachel went on. “Well, why shouldn’t it be all things? Why shouldn’t you have it all? You deserve it.”

“I don’t know,” Jillian said, pacing back toward the fireplace.

She had fantasized about confessing her love to Brad a million times, but never seriously considered doing it.

“If you’re right about how he was feeling yesterday,” Rachel continued, “then this might be your window.”

“It would have to be my window,” Jillian murmured. “We’ve only got this one last Christmas.”

“How would Josie feel about it?” Rachel asked suddenly.

The serious tone in her voice made it clear that her sister fully understood the little girl’s importance in Jillian’s life.

“The other night, she said she wants me to fall in love with her dad,” Jillian admitted.

“Oh,” Rachel said. “Oh, wow.”

“You know,” Jillian said, watching the trees outside bend in the wind as more flurries began to fall. “I think I actually like your idea a lot. I’m tired of waiting for other people to move my life along. I reached out to the school and made that happen. Why can’t I take action with the people I love, when it’s so much more important?”

“Yes,” Rachel said. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I have a good feeling about this.”

“I have a good feeling about everything,” Jillian realized out loud. “Thank you so much for giving me some really great advice. Now, I need to hear every single thing about Duncan’s week. Start spilling.”

A few hours later,she was in a terrific mood from Rachel’s funny stories, and she had another chapter written. She was just deciding that Brad probably wouldn’t be back before it was time to pick up Josie when she heard the front door opening.

Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest, and she snatched in a breath of air that felt like it didn’t quite fill her lungs.

You can do this,she told herself firmly.Someone has to, and you’ve never backed down from what this family needed.

For just a few seconds, she allowed herself to openly envision everything she had ever fantasized—family trips with the three of them together, a wedding gown, golden rings, rocking chairs on the front porch, and the look of love in Brad’s eyes as they both watched Josie grow into the incredible woman she was going to be—together.

“Brad?” she said bravely, as he stepped into the living room. “I need to talk to you about something.”

His eyes finally moved to hers again, and she felt instantly as vulnerable as that small deer out in the snow last night.

He knows. He knows exactly what I’m going to say.

She searched his eyes for some clue as to how he would receive her declaration, but all she saw in them was pain.

“Jillian,” he said, before she could say a word, moving as if to come close, and then stopping mid-step. “You don’t have to say anything at all. You’ve been so good to us all these years. I heard you on the phone last night, andI’m really happy for you. It’s time for you to spread your wings now.”

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