Page 176 of Echoes of Us

“Before you say anything and I lose my ability to think clearly, let me say one more thing.”

I gestured for him to go on, dipping my head.

“I know I fucked up with us. I didn’t talk to you, and I lied to make the bad things go away. I know that, if I had just opened my mouth and gotten help, things wouldn’t have gotten that bad. I also know I took it out on you, and part of the work I’ve been doing is learning how to manage this anger I have inside. Learning how to feel it and not hurt the people I love. I once told you I thought the universe had put you in my life to fix everything. That was the problem too. I expected you to fix everything. I didn’t take responsibility, and I didn’t assume the consequences. I put all the pressure on you. It was unbelievably unfair of me.” Noah leaned forward, placing his hand on the armrest of my chair, careful not to cross my boundaries. “I still think you and I were brought together for something, and maybe it’s not forever, but I do think the universe sent you to me. It’s just that, this time around, I think it was to teach me that I needed to be the one fixing me, not the other way around. I still love you, Atty. Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you, even if you don’t want to be with me. You’re the love of my life. Maybe you didn’t take me seriously when I sang all those stupidsongs to you, but I meant every word of them. Especially the last one. I don’t think I could ever put it better than that, but when I’m with you, I feel like I’m home.”

I had no words. It was everything I had ever wanted to hear from him, just a couple of years and a lot of heartbreak later. I didn’t know if I could bewithhim any more than I knew how to bewithouthim. Noah had become a part of me in a way that I didn’t know was possible. Maybe it was because he was my first love, but after this, I was starting to think that he was right about us.

He hadn’t turned into a stranger, not like I thought. He had grown up, and he had tried to show me so many times, but I couldn’t see clearly through the pain.

Right now, I could see him. This was really him.

I got up from the chair and looked down at Noah, noticing the crease between his brows again. “Come on.” I pulled on his hand and led him to the couch. We sat down together.

“What is it?” He was clearly confused by the location change.

“I’m not sure if you still have an extraordinary talent for knowing what to say to me,” I began, meeting his gaze, “and I’m not sure if I have it in me to forgive you for everything. But I’m pretty sure I don’t know how to be without you.”

“Me neither,” he admitted, his thumb rubbing slowly over mine.

“Holly told me you applied for a transfer.”

“I did. I didn’t want to keep messing with your head.”

I watched our intertwined hands, swallowing the lump in my throat. I looked back at him, seeing the anticipation in his eyes.

“Don’t go,” I managed to say, watching his eyes soften and a smile tug at his lips.

“Do you mean that?”

“Yeah. I do,” I confirmed.

He leaned closer, his hand reaching for my face.

“Wait.”

He halted his movement, his smile fading slightly.

“Come here.” I pulled on his wrists, guiding him onto my lap.

Noah smiled before climbing over me, his knees bent on the couch. He wrapped his arms around my neck and rested his forehead against mine. Closing his eyes, he let out a laugh of relief. I hugged him by his waist, pulling him closer. His weight, his body, felt so familiar and incredibly comforting. It was like fitting the final piece of a puzzle.

“You know—” his green eyes were shining and there was a soft smile decorating his lips, “—I think this is my favorite place in the world,” Noah whispered.

“I don’t know if this is going to work out, and I hope you know I’m still terrified you’re going to hurt me again,” I confessed.

“We’ll take it slow. For real this time. I’ll even put on the brakes myself,” he promised, his hands tangling in my hair and pulling on it gently, tilting my head back.

I moved my hands under his shirt, feeling the warmth of his skin. I brought my lips closer to his and smiled. “Well then.”

His bow-shaped lips curl upwards, the left side more than the right. I let my fingers slide on his back, watching his shoulders rise.

“Come on, Noah. What are you waiting for?”

He grinned, brighter than ever, before pressing his lips to mine and tightening his grasp on my hair.

It felt like coming home.

EPILOGUE

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