Page 45 of Fractured

“Are you okay?” Atticus touched my elbow.

When I met his gaze, I tried to smile, knowing it was falling short. Out of all of them, Atticus was the only one I was okay with seeing deeper than the surface. He would understand.

“I’m good. Just thinking about the orchestra here. And I’m ready to go home, it’s been a long day.”

He squinted his eyes. Yeah, he didn’t believe me for a minute, but he didn’t call me out either. Not with Saint on my other side. “Me too. Ambrose has texted ten times wondering where the food is. Did you have any idea when you brought him home that he was such a bottomless pit?”

Some of the tension gathering in my shoulders released with the lighter topic. “No. But I would have brought him home anyway.”

“This Ambrose, he’s your other…boyfriend?” Saint was struggling with the word so much, I laughed, pulling a surprising smile from him. “Sorry, this is just all very weird.”

I nodded. “I know. And yes, I guess he’d consider himself my boyfriend.”

“You don’t?” That had Saint looking at me with something akin to alarm.

“Sorry, that probably came across wrong. Yes, I guess I’m just not that big into labels.” Or giving weight to something I could lose so easily.

“Makes sense,” he said, then we fell into a heavy silence.

We all took separate cars over to my place, and I wanted to be excited, but at the same time, I was nervous. I’d have loved to dissect all my thoughts and feelings with Harper, but I’d kept the guys a secret.

There wasn’t a real tangible reason for doing this, other than the fact I enjoyed having them to myself, and as soon as I mentioned them, she would want to meet them. And a small part of me was afraid of her judgment. Call it a curse, but I’d always worried what others thought of me, particularly if I would follow in Lauren’s footsteps, even when I did my best to ignore it. But Harper was the one friend who had stood by me all these years, and I didn’t want to have her judge me for something that could be gone tomorrow. Why give the grief an opportunity to stick around longer than I wanted it to?

Ambrose was just pulling in as we all got out, and little beads of sweat appeared on my forehead when he walked up to Saint and extended his hand.

Shit. I didn’t even think to call him, but Atticus winked at me as he sidled up next to my car. So he’d called him, thank God.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Ambrose.”

Saint stared down at his hand, then rolled his eyes. “I’m Saint. It’s nice to meet you.” And just like that, Saint was seemingly welcomed into our little group.

Inside, Ambrose grabbed the plates while Atticus organized the containers for us, pointing out each dish. Once we were all settled, I started stuffing my face with fried rice to avoid conversation. Atticus and Ambrose had done such a good job, I’d let them see if they could settle Saint, although the man looked comfortable around us all already.

“So tell me how this reverse harem works,” Saint said as he wiped his mouth with a napkin.

Atticus and Ambrose exchanged glances, before Ambrose took the lead. “We don’t really know yet. We’re casual right now, but serious enough that we all wanted to see Lilith. No one is asking her to choose, and we’re all just seeing how it goes.”

“We’re learning together,” Atticus added.

I’d give my favorite bow to know what was going through Saint’s head, but I refrained from asking, letting it all play out how it would. The guys started throwing out random get to know you questions that I answered sparingly. I was mostly happy just to observe their interactions. Before I knew it, hours had flown by and I was halfway asleep on the couch, lying across Saint and Ambrose’s laps. Atticus had taken up a seat on the floor in front of me where he was turned sideways and playing with my hair.

My phone rang, but the sound didn’t immediately register in my half awake state.

“Are you going to get that?” Ambrose whispered as he squeezed my ankle.

“Hm?” I tried to open my eyes, but they fluttered closed.

“Your phone is going off,” Saint said from beside me. “Do you want me to turn it off so you can sleep? It says Kate is calling.”

Fuck. That was the worst possible thing he could have said. I flung myself off of the couch and groggily looked around for my phone before finding it on the coffee table, half under an empty takeout container.

“Hello?” I croaked out, shoving some hair out of my eyes.

“Lilith?” Kate asked through a heart-wrenching sob.

No, no, no. This could not be happening. I didn’t even know why she was calling, but there could only be a few reasons and I wanted to hear none of them. It would destroy me no matter what.

“I’m here.” Even to my own ears, my voice sounded subdued and reluctant.

---