Page 36 of Shoot Your Shot

“So, look,” he utters, looking back at me, “we have two options, and it’s your call which route we go.”

I search his face for any hint as to what he might be thinking, but I find nothing.

“I’m listening,” I say, a bit intrigued. “Go on.”

“One, we pretend we’re a happily married couple again. People will have their opinions about the truth, but some might actually believe we never split up in the first place. Since, you know, I never made a statement on it.”

“And two?” I widen my eyes, knowing option one is stupid and a long shot. “What’s that entail?”

“I actually don’t have another option.” He shrugs. “One is all I’ve got. So, I guess we’ll go with that.”

“Kolt,” I growl through gritted teeth.

“Come on, sweet thing. What’s it going to hurt?” he drawls, his eyes on me, looking at me like he’s ready to eat me up, sending a chill down my spine. “Go along with it, please?”

Staring at him for a moment, I finally let out a long, dramatic sigh. “Fine,” I huff out. “What do we do now?”

When he dips his lips closer to my ear, the stubble from his face tickles my neck.

“Turn toward the railing of the boat and look out at the land. And when I stand behind you, don’t kick me in the nuts or anything. Deal?”

My heart speeds up when I think about having him close to me. I glance at the two girls and see their phones still on us. I roll my shoulders back and unhurriedly turn my body to the side of the vessel and try to actually enjoy the scenery from the boat.

What I don’t expect is for Kolt to instantly get as close as he does. When his body comes behind mine and he puts his hands on the railing—making it so I’m wedged between his body and the railing—it’s hard for me to take a breath, and my head feels fuzzy.

It’s been so, so long since I’ve been this close to my husband. Closing my eyes, I drag in a deep breath and inhale him as my heart swells. The feeling that I’ve carried so long—the same one I got as a kid when I went to summer camp and missed my parents—slowly disappears, though a hint of it remains. I’ve missed him so damn much. It doesn’t matter that I’ve been staying in a house with him because he was far enough away emotionally and I couldn’t touch him. But right now, his body is against mine, and it’s like every cell that makes up my body ignites from his touch, making me feel whole after being broken for so long. But in the pit of my stomach, I know this feelingwon’t last. After all, we’re putting on a show right now, nothing else.

“Let go of the pain for the next fifteen minutes, baby,” he says in my ear, his head against the side of mine. “Just let me be your man again until this boat docks. Okay?”

My heart melts inside of my chest from his words, and even though it’s stupid, tears cloud my eyes, but I keep them at bay, knowing we have an audience.

It would feel so good to just … let go for a little bit. To pretend like everything is okay, even though I know it’s not.

“Okay,” I whisper, nodding before I turn in his arms, putting my back to the ocean and surprising him when I take control.

I gaze up at him, letting my eyes roam his face freely. His hair is shorter than he used to keep it, but I don’t hate it, not at all. His eyes are angled down at me, and while he doesn’t smile, when I put my hand on his chest, I swear I can feel his heart beating.

“Kiss me, wifey,” he rasps. “Let’s really sell it that you still love your husband. And that this marriage is fine.”

I do love you,I think in my head, but I don’t say it out loud.

Instead, I stand here, frozen. Petrified to let him in again, even if it is only for show. Because nothing will ever be fake for me when it comes to Kolt. No kiss. No look. No feelings. It’s all very, very real. If I kiss him once, I’ll never want to stop. It will ruin me.

Again.

“I can’t. We … we shouldn’t—” I barely get the two words out before he cups my cheek with his large palm and brings his mouth to mine.

The second our lips touch, tears sting my eyes, and my heart shatters inside my chest with so much force that it hurts. It’s been a year and a half since I’ve kissed this man. Since I’vekissedmy husband.I’ve missed him more than I can even articulate with words, and now … he’s kissing me.

A rush of emotions pumps through my body, reaching every single particle as he continues to cup my cheek while he kisses me. His kiss isn’t aggressive, but instead, it’s slow yet strong. My knees buckle, and my body falls against his unwillingly.

A cry rips through my throat, and he pulls back slightly, pressing his forehead against mine.

“Are you all right, Buttercup?”

“No.” The two letters come out in a strangled squeak.

I can’t have him this close, and every single part of me is telling me to push him away, reminding me that it is a mistake to let him get close again. But even with all of these thoughts rushing through my brain, I can’t force myself to push away from him.

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