Page 94 of From Maybe to Baby

But what if I'm finding myself? What if the real me likes making dinosaur pancakes and princess hair and...

No.

Professional distance.

I open my Paris article draft:

The City of Light offers sophisticated travelers...

Delete.

Fashion Week promises exclusive access...

Delete.

For the discriminating child-free lifestyle...

Delete.

My phone buzzes with another news alert.

NHL Star's Family Man—Alone again as Travel Writer Plans Paris Move

Oh my God.

The photo they use breaks me—Jonas at practice, kids watching from the stands. An empty seat between them where I usually sit.

Used to sit.

Should sit?

No.

I close everything. The school research. The Paris listings. The article that won't write itself because my heart's too busy writing a different story.

I throw my phone across the room.

Professional distance requires actual distance.

Even if distance feels like drowning.

Even if Paris feels like running.

I returnto Jonas’s place to pick up some things I left behind and find custody paperwork on Jonas's desk. What the hell? I see legal language that makes my stomach turn: "concerns about stability" and "emotional impact of recent changes" and "custody arrangements under review." Because apparently my entering their lives only to leave is giving Bert and Gloria ammunition to take the kids?

The irony isn't lost on me. I came here to write about family-friendly activities, and instead end up making Jonas look like an incompetent father?

I call Gloria. After all, I’ve gotten to know her well enough to find out what the hell is going on.

"Bert's lawyers are just asking questions, Alexa. About stability. About routine. About what's best for the children."

"Jonas is what's best for them."

"Yes," she says carefully. "He is. But all this uncertainty... the media attention... the kids acting out. You know how it is. Bert and I are very worried. But dear, we thank you for your concern.”

And just like that, I’m dismissed. Like I never existed.

I’m sure Jonas is trying to handle everything with his usual grace, and that Gloria and Bert’s “interest” is only making things worse. I know Jonas’s pre-season has started, bringing insane demands, for one, barely leave time for school drop-off. He’s got media appearances where he has to pretend everything's fine. Team events where he's supposed to maintain his "family man" image.

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