Page 114 of Sinful Scars

Elle doesn’t deserve to suffer like this. If I wasn’t such a selfish bastard, I would have left her apartment and given myself straight over to the Koslovs. But I needed her to listen to me. Sheneededto understand the danger that she was in.

But all I ended up doing was leading her straight tohim.

Elle is still wrapped in my arms, her terror making her momentarily forget she hates me. She shivers, and I tighten my arms around her to try and bring her some comfort, despite everything.

I bury my fingers in her hair and cradle her head against my chest. It’s so soft, and I catch a waft of her fruity shampoo that has me biting back a moan.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper against her hair. “I hate that you got caught up in this mess.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Yes, it is. All of it is my fault.”

Elle is quiet for a moment, lost to her own thoughts.

“Lev?”

“Yeah?”

She pulls back just enough so she can look up at me. Her eyes are red-rimmed and a little glassy, but the coldness has vanished.

“I didn’t mean what I said earlier.” She chews on her lower lip. “You’re nothing like Igor.”

She blinks, and a few tears escape down her cheeks.

This time, I don’t stop myself from taking her face in my hands and wiping them away with my thumbs.

“You were just a kid yourself…”

“You don’t need to do this.” I gently stroke her cheek as I stare down into her beautiful eyes.

“I was angry and upset. And it was wrong of me to blame you for something your father… Igor did. I-I’m sorry, Lev.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. It’s like you said, I’m just as much to blame for what happened.”

“Your blackouts… Are they always that…scary?”

I cringe. I hate that she saw me like that.

“I honestly don’t know. I never remember them.”

Elle’s lower lip trembles again, and I reach out to trace my thumb along it.

“There was a moment where I thought you were dead.”

My chest feels like it’s being cracked open.

“I’m sorry I scared you.” I sigh. “I just… I wish I could know what happens during them. I mean, I could literally kill someone and not remember a thing.”

Elle’s eyes search my face, as if she’s looking for something.

A small crease appears between her eyebrows as she reaches up to cup my cheek.

“I don’t think you’re capable of hurting someone. At least, anyone who didn’t deserve it. Blackout or not.”

My throat thickens with emotion at Elle’s words.

“It means a lot to hear you say that.”

---