Page 43 of Sinful Scars

Ignoring the blaring horns as I pull back out onto the busy interstate, I cross over the lanes and turn my car around so that I’m heading back toward Manhattan.

No matter how many times I black out, the terror that accompanies the blank spots never fades.

Maybe it’s because I know I can’t trust myself. My track record isn’t exactly clean and even though no blood currently coats my hands, that doesn’t mean that I’m innocent.

I know all too well what I’m capable of, and that scares the shit out of me.

13

ELLE

I liein the darkness pretending to be asleep, hoping thathewill come back and visit me again.

It’s been over a week since I found my necklace on the counter in my kitchen and while I should be terrified at the thought of a stranger sneaking into my apartment while I sleep, I’m nothing but eager to catch him in the act.

Night after night, I try my hardest to fight my heavy eyelids, but the exhaustion that hits me after a long shift at the hospital always wins, and I wake up in the morning filled with disappointment at not seeing him. But I’m yet to be discouraged.

The moment the sun sets, I climb into bed and sit staring at my open window as my apartment is slowly cast in darkness, waiting for him to appear in the shadows.

I wonder if he stands outside my apartment, looking up at my window and imagining me standing there completely naked for him to enjoy?

I knew that my little show the other night would do the trick of enticing him into my apartment, but I’m reluctant todo it again in case he isn’t the only one out there watching me…

I should be repulsed by the thought of him being out there, spying on me. But I can’t help butlikethe idea of him being the only one who gets to see me like that.

Though, I am desperate to know just how much he enjoyed it.

From what I remember of him when he carried me in his arms out of that motel room, he felt broad and muscular, and sowarm.

As I lie in my bed, a dull ache starts to build between my legs at the thought of him, but my imagination is having to fill in the blanks, considering I don’t have much to go on.

And yet, it still works.

Fantasizing over a man spying on my naked body and sneaking into my bedroom to watch me sleep gets me seriously worked up to the point where I barely have to rub my fingers over my clit before I’m crying out with release.

Which is exactly what I’ve done every night this week.

Am I so starved for male attention that having a stalker is more of a turn on than a turn off?

Considering the fact that my last hookup was with a guy at my work Christmas party almost a year ago that lasted less than two minutes, I’d say yes.

It’s thoughts like this that would have Lucia booking me into the psych ward.

While she’s not brought it up since I admitted the truth to her over lunch the other day, I don’t take her silence for acceptance. So, I’ve kept quiet about my secret stalker, especially considering the fact that my fantasies have only gotten worse since I found he’s been sneaking inside my apartment.

I imagine him climbing in through my window to find me lyingnaked on my bed, my fingers pumping in and out of my slick pussy.

He’s so overcome with arousal that he can’t help but take over, finishing me off with his tongue before undoing his pants and thrusting his cock inside me so hard that I scream with pleasure.

Other times, I imagine myself being roused from sleep to find his head between my thighs as he gently licks and sucks at my clit. He would build my pleasure so slowly that I would be whimpering with the need to come, and still he wouldn’t give me what I wanted.

Only when I begged and begged for release would he finally give in, wrapping his lips around my swollen clit and sucking on the sensitive bud so that I come so hard I see stars.

A moan escapes my lips as I indulge in my secret fantasies.

My pussy clenches, so desperate to be filled by him, but I fight the urge to reach between my thighs and sink two fingers inside myself to try and relieve the ache.

An orgasm would only aid in sending me to sleep, and that’s the last thing I want to do.