Page 31 of Sinful Scars

I’m on my feet for twelve hours at a time, often longer, treating patients back-to-back with no break. If I were to make a mistake because I was tired, it could not just be detrimental to my career but to my patients too, and I can’t let that happen.

If I have any hope of getting back to sleep, I need to try and calm myself down. When I find myself wound up in such a state, the only thing that helps is a hot shower. It never fails to relax me, so I throw back the covers and gingerly climb out of bed.

I’m a little unsteady on my feet, but I manage to pad across the wooden floor into my bathroom despite my shaky legs.

My pulse doesn’t start to slow until I stand under the hot water, letting it cascade over my body and relax my tense muscles.

I close my eyes and focus on the sound of the water running until my heart rate starts to return to normal, and my anxiety finally dissipates.

When I eventually shut off the water, the bathroom is completely steamed up and my skin has turned a deep shade of pink.

Throwing on my robe, I head out into the kitchen to check the time on my phone.

Thankfully, Mikhail managed to track my phone down at the bar. He insisted on completely wiping it and checking for bugs and putting all sorts of trackers inside the actual phone before giving it back to me.

I should be grateful that I have people in my life who are genuinely concerned about me. For so long, I only really had Lucia, and I’m still not used to now being part of such a large, tight knit family as a result of her marriage to Mikhail. I know what it’s like to lose the people you love the most, and the thought of ever experiencing grief like that again scares the shit out of me.

It’s the main reason why I haven’t ever really dated or been in a relationship, not that I would ever admit that to Lucia. It’s easier to pretend that I’m happy being married to my work, rather than admit the truth that I’m too scared to open myself up to the idea of love.

Tapping the screen of my phone, I groan as I see it’s not even four a.m. I’m not due at the hospital until tomorrow evening, but I promised to meet Lucia for lunch, so I’m going to have to try and get some sleep if I stand a chance of keeping up with her extroverted self. As I switch off my screen and head back over to my bed, cool air blows in through my open window, and I shiver, clutching my robe tighter around me.

You shouldn’t leave this window unlocked.

Hiswords echo in my mind as I cross the room and stand in front of the window, eyeing the street below.

It’s dark except for the soft glow of the streetlights, and there’s not a soul in sight.

Or at least not any that I can see…

“Are you out there?” I whisper, hoping my words will travel to him on the soft September breeze.

My fingers go to my lips as I think of the kiss we shared.

The connection between us was undeniable and yet, I’ve had no further contact from him in the three weeks since.

An emptiness pools in my stomach at the thought of not experiencing a kiss like that again, of not getting the chance to explore this connection further.

I half expected him to start showing up more often after crossing that boundary, but perhaps I read him all wrong.

Maybe the kiss wasn’t as good as I remembered, and I ultimately ended up pushing him away…

I guess there’s only one way to find out.

Stepping up to the window, my fingers go to the belt of my robe, and I bite my lip as I think of him being out there.

I know I’m acting crazy, but I can’t help it. It thrills me that he might be secretly watching me from the shadows.

I untie my belt and let my robe fall open, exposing my naked body to my sleeping street.

My nipples instantly harden from the cold air, and I shiver as I let my robe fall to the floor, leaving me standing in front of my window completely naked.

Iwanthim to see me. Iwanthim to desire me in the way that I desire him.

My hand trails up my stomach to cup my breasts as my eyes flutter closed, the fantasy coming alive in my mind.

Heat pools in my lower stomach at the thought of himwatching me, and I’m desperate to take it further, to tease him so much that he has no choice but to appear.

I wonder what he would do with me.

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