Page 102 of Where We Fall

“That’s awesome that Grace found you a temporary place to stay.”

“Yeah,” I reply dimly.

I grab my suitcase packed with clothes and toiletries. I’ve packed all my luggage to go with me to the house I’m staying at. Everything else will go into storage.

My apartment is spotless. I got on my hands and knees to scrub every inch of this place. There is no way they will need a cleaner to come in.

It was all I could think to do to keep from running back to Marcus and begging him to take me back.

The last three days, I’ve been living in this stupid fantasy world where he decides I am an idiot and comes back for me. He takes me in his arms and tells me nothing can keep us apart, even long distance.

“What time do the movers come tomorrow?”

“They get here at eight. Getting my stuff in the truck shouldn’t take them longer than an hour. I should be on the road by nine.”

“And Grace will meet you at the storage unit?” she asks.

“Uh, yeah. I guess.”

“Lexi. I’m worried about you. I’ve known you for a long time. You’ve never sounded like this before.”

It’s the same thing I’ve heard from Grace. I don’t know what to tell them. I figure honesty is the best route.

“I’ve never felt this way before.”

“Oh, Lexi. I wish there were something I could do. Are you sure you don’t want to give the relationship a go from afar?”

That’s the question I’ve been playing in my head over and over. It's not like I don't want to. It's all I want. But I also don't want to be the person that drags him down.

“Even if I did, once I laid it all out for him, he understood. He didn’t fight the break-up or tell me to screw the logistics and the unknowns, that he wants to be with me.”

“Well, even so, don’t not go to him because you’re too proud to take back what you said.”

“I’m just trying to do the right thing for both of us. He shouldn’t hold off on his life, on finding a wife and starting a family, because I have to move away. This is for the best.”

“You don’t sound so sure about that.”

“I’m not sure about anything anymore.”

“Just think about it tonight. It’s your last chance before you leave. Don’t let your ego or pride or fear…any of that shit…don’t let it get in the way."

“Ok. I’m pretty much done packing, so all I have is time to think about it tonight anyway.”

I look around the nearly empty bedroom. There’s one thing I need tonight that will make me feel better.

I walk into the kitchen, where my box of Italian pastries from Corbo’s sits on the counter. I open it up and pull out a coconut square.

My first bite must be half of the coconut square, but I don’t feel bad about it. It’s too damn delicious to care.

“What’s that noise?” Chloe asks.

I realize I might’ve been moaning over my dessert. “Sorry, I’m eating my feelings right now.”

She laughs. “A great way to temporarily forget your troubles.”

“It’s the best way.”

“Well, you go ahead and eat your feelings. Call me tomorrow on your drive.”