Page 37 of Mastered By Desire

She makes a noise that sounds likesorry.

I trace her chin, and her lips beneath where the silky fabric juts past. “Do you have a heart condition I don’t know about? Any other health issues that might be bad for breath play?”

“No,” she mumbles, shaking her head.

“Good.” I tap the tip of her nose. “Take a little breath, baby.”

As soon as she breathes in, I cover her nose and mouth with my hand.

She looks at me, but I use my free hand to point to the TV. “You should try to enjoy the show. This is a good part.”

She obeys, her head swiveling back to the screen. She keeps stealing peeks at me from the corner of her eye. I don’t actually expect her to watch TV right now. Instructing her to do so is part of the control I exert.

I search her face for signs of distress. She’s calm, though. In my head, I count to fifteen. Once I reach it, I remove my hand from her nose and mouth. I stroke her cheeks.

The lights from the TV flicker over her face in the otherwise dark room.

“Another deep breath for me,” I say. “Keep watching your show.”

With one hand wrapped over her nose and mouth, I use the other to touch her. I unclasp her barrette so I can run my fingers through her hair. I massage her scalp, stroke the fragile shells of her ears, trace the top of the rose and butterfly tattoo on her back where it shows above her shirt.

The power that I hold is heady.

It makes me feel breathless, just like her.

My grandfather’s voice sounds in my head.You’re a monster, Dmitri. If I am, so are you. It’s in your blood.

I shove the memory away, put the monster in its cage. I’m playing with Leah, not hurting her.

My dick is hard in my pants. I shift slightly to the side, trying to give myself more room.

When I let go of Leah’s face, she exhales heavily and sucks in a new breath.

“Doing okay, little girl?”

She nods.

Over and over again, I cut off her air. Each time, I touch her with my free hand, growing bolder and bolder. Soon, I’m sliding down the sleeve of her shirt to finger the soft skin of her shoulder. I can’t resist pressing a kiss to that spot. She shivers.

I shouldn’t do any of this, but I can’t stop. I don’t even know who I am anymore.

All I know is Leah.

Leah

I’m high. Floating. He is in charge of my most basic human need—air. I’ve relinquished everything to him. I can’t think of anyone I would trust more.

This is so dangerous. IknowI have a habit of choosing the wrong guys to trust. Mick and the guys before him, every single one was a walking red flag.

I can’t quit, though.

I don’t even want to quit. Like the clichéd moth to the flame, I only want to flutter closer.

I mindlessly watch the teenage drama unfolding on the TV screen, colors and faces blurring together. I’m not thinking about them. I’m thinking about the man next to me. About how turned on I am. About how I want to climb into his lap and grind like I did with Gage, while Dmitri watched.

The next time Dmitri covers my nose and mouth, I sink into the feeling of not having any control. All the power is his. This can’t be healthy, allowing someone else to decide whether I breathe or not.

But I don’t fucking care.

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