She giggles. “He does that too, but it’s so much more. I feel so utterly loved by him. He never leaves room for any doubts. I love how happy he always is to simply see me.”
“Is it so wrong that I want the same? That I won’t settle for less than that?”
She shakes her head. “You deserve nothing less.”
Later that night,I’m holding Kaya while watching Quincy’s game. He’s pitching tonight. His stride is a little off. His curveball usually has much more movement. He must be a little rusty. I love watching him play though. I always have.
Mom walks downstairs in a dress with a full face of makeup and perfect hair. “Wow, Mom, you look great.”
“Thanks. I have a date.”
“Who with?”
“Some guy I met at the grocery store this week. He was sweet. I figured I’d have dinner with him and see where it goes.” She glances at the television. “I was watching upstairs. His curve isn’t moving as much as it normally does. I think he needs to stride more.”
“I agree.” Kaya fusses a bit, so I switch positions. Nothing seems to keep her satisfied for long tonight. “I don’t know how you did it alone, Mom. I have you, Quincy, Arizona, and basically bottomless resources, and it’s still hard. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you to have a newborn all alone with limited money.”
She gives me a small smile. “It wasn’t easy. I hope yourealize how fortunate you are to have Quincy. I know you two have things to work through, but he does love you, Ripley. I was certainly skeptical at first, but he’s made his intentions clear. He’s truly stepped up since she was born.”
“I know but it’s complicated.”
“It’s not. You love each other. You have some baggage, as does every relationship, but the feelings are real. Besides, a man who walks around shirtless all the time and looks as good as he does while doing so isn’t easy to find. I think he’s trying to enticeyou, but it’s working onme.”
I giggle. “He’s always done that. I think he has a higher-than-normal body temperature.”
“In all seriousness, the feelings between you two are very real. Don’t lose sight of that trying to stand on principle. Love is love. Did you know that he called me every single day from Thanksgiving until the day you gave birth just to check on you?”
I sit up. “What? You never told me that.”
“He asked me not to. And frankly, I wasn’t a fan of his at the time. But you and Kaya were never far from his thoughts. I’ve had a broken heart for nearly thirty years. It’s no fun and it’s very lonely. You can make him work for it, but at some point, accept his love. I know you love him. You always have.”
“Why have you never considered moving on from my father? There was neveranyonefor you?”
“Could you easily move on from Quincy?”
I’m silent for a moment as I consider that. I’ve never been able to move on, but thirty years is a long time. “Why the revolving door of men? Were you ever open to meeting someone special?”
“Unfortunately, my broken heart never healed. I drown myself in pleasure to numb the pain. I don’t want the same thing for you. I’m not proud of how I cope. I suppose I’mlucky that I still garner male attention because it’s not like I take the time to let anyone get to know me. My looks won’t last forever. And then I’ll truly be alone.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re beautiful, Mom. Your looks aren’t remotely fading. If anything, you’re more beautiful now than ever.”
“So are you, Ripley. Everyone around you sees it except you. Both inside and out. I know you have some misguided notions of being undeserving of a man like Quincy. If anything, it’s the opposite. He’s the lucky one.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“I love you.”
“Love you too.”
She starts to leave, but I stop her. “Mom?”
She turns around. “Yes?”
“Maybe it’s time for you to open yourself up to the possibility of more too.”
She has a weird look on her face, almost as if she’s considering it. “Maybe you’re right.”
“Speaking of being open to scary things, will you give me the contact information for my brother and sister? I think I want to reach out. It’s time.”