Page 23 of Someday Not Soon

“What do you mean by ‘duh’?” I ask. He is the one secret I’ve always kept close to my chest, never letting anyone in on it. It hurt too much ten years ago, and the thought of going through that again—of possibly hurting even more—terrifies me.

“You two are about as subtle as a damn siren. You’ve both always been into each other. And way more than in a horny way. What’s the word—” She snaps her fingers as it comes to her. “Obsessed. That’s it. Obsessed is way more fitting.”

I bite the nail of my thumb, anxiety bubbling up. “Well, fuck me. I didn’t realize it was that obvious toeveryone else. I’m an idiot, right? How could I even think about being with him after he left?”

She pulls me into a big hug, her voice soft but firm. “Stop overthinking it. If you find an ounce of joy, seize it. Especially with everything you’ve been through lately. Maybe he’s that joy for you. Maybe it’ll make you happy for a few weeks, or maybe it’ll make you happy for a lifetime. But you won’t know unless you talk to him. Find out what happened all those years ago. Don’t hesitate, don’t over analyze it—just snatch that happiness and soak it up, girl.”

My eyes burn with tears that I refuse to let fall and ruin the eye makeup I spent so long perfecting. “Thank you,” I whisper, breaking the hug and shaking off my self-doubt. I exhale, trying to cast all my stress aside. “You really are wise now, you know.”

“Cole’s magic dick, I’m telling you.” She winks. “Go get ‘em, girl.” Then shimmies away, in true Delaney fashion.

Levi is all over me again the moment we’re alone. His hands seem incapable of staying off my body, each touch more intrusive than the last. I keep trying to step back, putting distance between us, but he keeps closing the gap, like a moth drawn to a flame. I’ve tried to force something that’s not there and I can’t do it for even one millisecond longer. It’s becoming painfully clear that I need to put an end to this.

“Hey, let’s go outside. I need to talk to you,” I say, gesturing to the back door.

His hand trails along the bare skin of my spine, stopping right above the curve of my ass. “Hell yes, let’s go,” hesays, with the confidence of a man that thinks he’s about to get laid.

As we weave through the kitchen, dodging tipsy partygoers on our way, I catch him cockily winking at people like he’s about to hit the jackpot. He thinks he’s about to get lucky—on the back deck, no less. His arrogance only makes the conversation I’m about to have with him even more satisfying.

My heart sinks when I spot Jude nearby. He freezes, mid-speech when he sees me holding hands with Levi. The smug grin on Levi’s face also makes everything look worse than it is, instantly complicating things. Cole is talking to Jude, but Jude’s eyes stay on me. His jaw ticks as I hold his stare, wishing he could read my thoughts so he could know this isn’t what it looks like.

As I step outside with Levi close behind, a wave of panic hits. The last thing I want is for him to think I’m settling for a meaningless hookup. I should absolutely not care about Jude’s opinion or feelings, but I can’t help it. All I want is to get this over with fast, so I can go back inside with my friends.

The deck feels dark and eerie, the overcast sky casting an unsettling brightness that only adds to the ominous atmosphere. We’re not even out of eyesight when Levi pulls me roughly into his body, his lips immediately on mine as he forces his tongue into my mouth. I recoil instantly, jerking back with lightning speed. “Wait, stop. That’s not why I wanted to talk.”

His expression hardens, as if I’ve slapped him. “What the fuck. Then why?”

Taking a deep breath, I steady myself. “I wanted to tell you that I’m not going to sleep with you, and that we need to chill out.”

Frustrated, his hand drags down his face and snaps, “So we’re not going to fuck? Why’d you lead me on then?”

“I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea. You’re attractive and everything, I just…can’t.” The words taste bitter in my mouth, and I’m annoyed with myself for even apologizing, knowing I did nothing wrong. Simply because we flirted and I accepted coffee from him doesn’t automatically mean I’m obligated to take things further.

“Whatever. I’m going back inside,” he mutters, stalking off toward the house.

I let him go and I stay outside, needing to distance myself from the chaos. Inhaling deeply, I let the crisp ocean air fill my lungs, then exhale slowly, watching my breath turn visible in the night. Everything feels overwhelming, with too many feelings, too many expectations—so I focus on this one small thing: the sight of my breath appearing and fading away.

Making my way back into the house, my eyes immediately search for Jude.

But he’s gone. Nowhere to be found.

And as the night wears on, it becomes clear he’s not coming back. The party hums around me, laughter and music filling the air, but it all feels distant, muted. My thoughts are knotted in the empty space he left behind, every nerve on edge, waiting for any sign of him.

But he never returns.

Chapter Thirteen

Ella

Present

I keep tellingmyself that I’m sneaking out to the deck at 2:00 a.m. because I can’t sleep. Definitely not because I’m hoping to find Jude out here for a second night in a row. But the moment I spot him near the fire pit, it feels like I can breathe again.

As I approach, I notice him stumbling over his own feet, his body swaying unsteadily. A beer dangles precariously from his fingertips, and it’s clear he’s far gone. The bottle in his hands is seconds from slipping and shattering. I step up and carefully slide it out of his fingers, so gently that he doesn’t even notice its absence.

“What’s going on here?” I ask.

He avoids my gaze, staring somewhere over my shoulder. “I saw you with Levi. He seems nice.” The word nice comes out bitter, as if it leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

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