Page 37 of An Alien for Her Heart

I…can’t do it. I have to be strong. Have to protect myself, even if it means shutting out the possibility of something more.

So I push the rising interest down. I push away whatever it is that has me thinking of him now when I have no right to. I bundle it all and lock it up tight in a corner of my heart and throw away the key. I’ll focus on the work, on the simple, tangible tasks that keep my hands busy and my mind occupied.

And when the day is finally done, when the cottage is clean and the animals are fed and the sun is setting over the fields, I’ll let myself breathe. Let myself relax, just a little, as I stand alone in the gathering dusk.

Just as it has always been.

My heart clenches, the organ tightening around what feels like a physical manifestation of pain as I force my breaths to even, breathing deeply in and out. When the communication device lights up and makes a sound, I turn my head slowly, eyes falling on it.

“Ping from Eleanor Taylor.”

I groan. I don’t want her to see me like this. No one knows just how shattered I am inside. All the other humans seem to be adjusting to this new life except me. I am lost. The woman I once was is gone. I am a shell of myself.

I stare at the comm device before forcing another breath through my nose as I reach for it, my arm brushing against the crate of fruit Varek brought me. Something deep inside me clenches again.

“Hiya, Eleanor!” The bright smile I put on my face is hopefully convincing. On the other end of the video feed, Eleanor is grinning back at me.

“Catherine! You look well! Seems like your little problem was sorted?”

My chest tightens. My little problem? I wouldn’t call him little. The purple iridescent mountain of a male currently on my barn roof isnota little problem. He’s turning out to be quite a big problem indeed. But then I realize Eleanor isn’t talking about the alien who I can’t get out of my mind. She’s talking about the initial problem I’d called her about.

“Ah, yes, thank you so much for sending help. The umus are corralled for now.”

“Corralled?” Eleanor’s eyes widen. “They’re dangerous little terrors.”

I smile a little. “Varek sorted it. They’ve been no trouble since.”

There’s a twinkle in her eyes that I don’t miss. “Ah, Varek. He’s been helping you, has he?”

I nod, not sure how much I should reveal. She’s mated to his brother. I don’t want to give her the wrong idea. “He has. He’s been working on my barn roof. He’s been great.”

More than great. He’s been…perfect.

I swallow a lump down as Eleanor’s eyes light up some more. “That’s fantastic. I’m just calling to let you know that there’s this festival happening in town tomorrow night. We humans have to attend. I hear there’s another human Xarion will be escorting as well. Just for community building and all.”

“A festival?” I could groan. I just want to lie in bed for a day and not engage with anyone.

“Yes! For prosperity for the seeds we’re sowing. You should come! It would do good for the Initiative.”

I bite my lip, thinking about it. It feels like I just lost something. As if I should be mourning. For someone who used to host events, someone who thrived in that space, nothing within me is even excited about the prospect of attending this function.

I give Eleanor a sort of apologetic smile, hoping she will accept my rejection of the offer. “It’s nice of you to invite me. I’d love to come but I’m afraid I’ll have to skip this one. I don’t have any way to get to town on my own. Not yet. I haven’t figured out how to use oogas—”

“I can take you.” The deep voice by my door makes me freeze. My eyes widen as I turn to find the door opening slowly. Apparently, I’d left it open after taking out the bucket after I’d cleaned the floor.

The dark that dusk brings only highlights the yellow in his eyes as Varek looks at me. I’m speechless, that ache in the center of my chest worsening as I look at him.

“That’s great!” Eleanor’s voice snaps me back to the present. “Varek will take you.” That twinkle in her eye is unmistakable now. “I’ll see you there!”

Before I can respond, the comm ends.

I set the device down, a tremor going through my arm, my eyes still on the alien before me.

“Your outbuilding is done, sura.” His voice rumbles, electricity crackling in the space between us.

I nod, standing taller and folding my arms across my chest. I need to get a hold of myself. “Does that mean you’re done? That you’re finished now?” I whisper.

I don’t even know why I ask that. Why there’s an undertone there that he probably won’t even recognize.

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