Page 122 of Breathe Again

“She’s working on that. I have you on speaker phone so she can hear your voice but she's not ready to talk to you yet. Right now, she just wants you to know that she’s doing better, and she is planning on being home with Olivia tomorrow.”

“With Olivia,” he repeated. “What does that mean?”

“It means she’s going to be discharged tomorrow, and right now her priority is to get home to Olivia. She’s concerned about her. She’d like to talk to her if that’s okay, just her this time. We’d like to bring you in tomorrow morning to join Mara in her counseling session with me. Would that be something you’d be willing to do?”

“Anything. Anything at all.”

God, he sounded terrible. I dropped my face into my hands and bent over my knees. I could feel myself rocking.

“That’s great, Zale. Can you arrange for Olivia to be available to talk to Mara in about fifteen minutes? We just need to give Mara achance to pull herself together again. Hearing your voice has affected her.”

“She can hear me?”

“Yes, she’s just not able to talk at the moment.”

“Okay, that’s okay.” I heard him take a deep breath. “Fifteen minutes is fine. I’ll hand Olivia the phone as soon as you tell me Mara’s ready to take the call. She won’t have to talk to me. And, Mara, don’t answer, it’s okay, but please, God, gorgeous, know that I love you and Olivia is doing okay. I may have promised her a goldfish.” He huffed out a dry laugh. “But we’ll work that out when you get home. I love you and I miss you and I can’t fucking wait to see you tomorrow.” His voice broke on the last word, and he hung up the phone.

I sat back, leaning my head on the back of the couch, my throat working to balance the demands of breathing and swallowing while beating back the tears.

Marissa moved closer to me. “What would Radical Acceptance sound like right now Mara?”

I shook my head in response.

“Try,” she pushed. “I’ll get you started. I’m here in the hospital because…”

“...of millions of events and decisions that led up to this moment.” I breathed. “It couldn’t be any other way.”

“That’s great, sweetheart. What else now?”

“I can make different decisions, so it doesn’t happen again.”

“That’s right. You’ve got this.”

“Can we call my daughter now?”

Marissa smiled her beautiful smile. “You bet.”

She dialed the phone, I heard Zale answer, and Marissa asked for Olivia.

“Mommy?”

I took a steadying breath. “Hi, my little bird.”

“You don’t sound right.”

“Hmm. I wasn’t feeling well, at all, but I’m getting better. I’ll be home tomorrow.”

“Hmm.” Olivia found it difficult to talk on the phone.

“What did you do yesterday?”

“Daddy took the day off work. We got Little Caesar’s. I ate all the breadsticks. Two packages. And Daddy bought cinnamon sticks too.”

“You got spoiled?”

“Yes. Daddy does not know how to say no.” I smiled at her lack of filter. Her voice sounded small when she continued. “When are you coming home?”

“Tomorrow, little bird. Mommy’s sorry it happened so suddenly. You were upset?”

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