Page 20 of Rock On

We’re forever, my Sky

I paced backstage, unable to settle in one place. Panic ate at my stomach. Sky was going to find out about me in a few minutes, and she wouldn’t understand. I needed to tell her, to explain, but now, it was too late.

I’d screwed up.

“Two minutes,” our production manager, Devon, called, making the rounds through the crowded space.

I nodded and pulled out my phone. Normally, I’d spend this time hyping myself up and warming up my body, as if I could pull in all the energy I needed. Today, I stood stock-still other then typing on my message app.

Jerrin:Sky, I know I need to explain, to warn you. I tried this morning and couldn’t…but in a few minutes, you’re going to know. I can explain. I promise.

What the fuck was I even trying to say?

Jerrin:Just remember I love you. I didn’t tell you that before, either, but I do. I love you. Please still meet me later.

God, I hoped she wouldn’t be too pissed at me. I’d do whatever it took to get her to forgive me.

Closing my eyes, I heaved in deep breaths while I shook out my arms. From onstage, I heard Stix ramping up into the pinnacle of her drum solo. The crowd roared. A hand grabbed me and dragged me to the wings where I’d prepare to enter.

“Get your head out of your ass!” Stone growled into my ear.

“She’s out there.”

“Then don’t make a fool of yourself.”

Stix’s bass drum hit the signal—Boom! Boom! Boom boom boom!

By rote, I ran onto the stage behind Stone and took my mark, grabbing my mic, while Kyson and Blu emerged from the other direction and the audience screamed. I didn’t have my guitar for the opening, but the others were ready. The music started, and I belted out the opening lyrics, flooding the air with all my energy and soul, giving myself over to all these people who’d come to see us. As I reached the chorus, a thousand voices joined mine and I stared out at the crowd, though they were obscured by the blinding stage lights.

I could see the VIP seating directly ahead of me, though. I could see her. Arms crossed over her chest, unmoving in a sea of dancing bodies, Sky stared at me, her face stony with ice-cold anger. She knew, and she was pissed. I nodded at her between the chorus and verse then mouthedI love you.

I had to tell her.

I should have told her before. I should have done a lot of things before. Compartmentalizing my angst, so I didn’tmake a foolof myself as Stone had said, I keyed into the energy of the audience, playing off them and giving them the show they’d waited all day to see.

My attention never fully left my woman, though. She stayed in her place for a few songs. Until we got to the song,hersong. When the music started forLight Up My Sky,she shook her head and scooted out of her row, starting to walk away. She’d made it a few steps into the aisle before I burst into action. I didn’t even stop to think. I dropped my mic and leapt off the stage to chase after her.

The crowd gasped, a rumble of shock and confusion going through them, but I ignored the sound as I rushed after my woman.

I grabbed her arm. “Sky, no. Don’t leave.”

She spun on me. Her finger jabbed into my chest. “You lied to me.”

“I’m sorry. Sweet—”

“Don’t!” she growled, cutting me off. “Don’t call me that.”

This so, so wasn’t where I’d wanted to do this, but I had to. I couldn’t let her walk away. So I was about to do this in a very public way. At least, the band kept playing as if I were still on stage, and that deafened the crowd to my words.

“Listen,” I demanded, holding both of her upper arms, so she couldn’t escape me, and thanking God, she didn’t fight to escape. “Listen to me! I love you. It hit me like lightning, and…You didn’t know who was—am. Who I am. This is me. This whole circus. But, fuck. I liked that you didn’t know and that we could just be us without the fame and expectations. I didn’t have to be a rock star to you. I was just me.”

“You are a rock star.” Her lip trembled, her eyes glossy with unshed tears. All I wanted was to fold her into my arms and hold her to me forever.

“I don’t want to be that to you. I just want to be me. I’d quit it all for you. I know it’s been fast, but the feelings I have for you are stronger than I’ve ever had for anyone or anything. I’ve never felt something close to this. I didn’t want to ruin it. I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.”

“You did.”

“I’m sorry,” I repeated. “I’m so damn sorry.”

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