Page 61 of Crimson Flames

“Hey,” Nessa says, walking out of the office. She looks a little better than before when I drove her home from her appointment. I have a feeling I know what it’s all about, but I plan to let her come to me.

“Hey there, Sweetheart.” I stand and wrap her in a hug. I didn’t realize how draining therapy can be before all of this, and I can tell that today was more exhausting than most. “Boris already has a bath drawn for you with your favorites. Why don’t you head over there while I have a little sesh with K?”

“It’sDr. K,” she says, grinning and looking up at me with tired eyes. “How did Boris know?”

I shake my head, unable to take credit for this one. “He’s your old man, you know how he is. He knows what you need even before you do.”

She chuckles under her breath, leaning into me once more. I pull her close for just a moment, savoring the feeling of her pressed against me. With a house full of kids, it’s rare we get to really be together anymore. I’m hoping that changes soon.

Kissing her forehead, I pull back and tap her sweet arse. “Go get your old man.”

Shaking her head, she walks away and I watch until the very last second.

Hey, once a stalker, always a bit of a stalker.

I enter Boris’ office and grin at K.

“Hey there, pretty lady,” I greet, flopping into a chair.

She rolls her eyes, but I notice the way her cheeks turn a bit pink. I don’t think she likes me, but what woman doesn’t love a compliment now and then?

“Hello, Cillian. What do you want to talk about today?”

I rub at my chin, thinking. We have already discussed my past and my parents' deaths. We talked through a lot with Aiden and even a bit about being in a throuple.

“Can we go a little off script today?” I ask.

“With you, I have never truly felt on script.”

I laugh out loud at her little joke.Okay, I see you, K.

“How’s Nessa?” I ask.

I know what you’re thinking, but listen, Nessa gave K here permission to talk to Boris and me at any point if it would allow us to help her, so I’m not violating her privacy by asking.

Dr. K sits back. “I’m actually glad you asked. She gave me permission to speak about this, which is why I’m going to tell you what I know.”

Sitting forward, I allow my face to reflect how serious I’m taking this.It’s rare for me to let my mask slip and truly show others the mood I’m in, but I trust my buddy K here.

“Doc called me after he spoke with Nessa today and told me she was in a state of mental shock when he said she was clear to resume having intercourse again.”

I figured as much. But what I don’t understand is why she seems afraid.We were good to her before, right? I mean, you heard her screams. She was not faking that. Right?

“Why is she afraid of us?” I ask absentmindedly.

K shakes her head quickly. “She is not afraid of you, she is failing to see the point of being with you intimately now that she has lost her ability to conceive.”

My brows scrunch. “But that makes no sense. We weren’t trying toconceivebefore, and we were having tons of fun.”

K tries to not roll her eyes at the way I mocked her word choice, but I couldn’t help it. Sometimes she’s so damn formal that it grates on every nerve. I thought Brits were supposed to speak their minds and be sassy.

“Feelings rarely make sense, Cillian. Society preaches to women that their purpose in life is to have and raise children. No matter if she never wanted to have a baby, or even if she did, that pressure is still placed on us all. Mix that with feelings like fear and hesitancy, it can create a toxic combination.”

I nod, knowing she’s right. Society is so arse-backwards. If we helped more women find freedom in who they are, and what they really want, instead of forcing dated western religious ideology on them, I’d swear on my left nut we would all be much better off.

“So how can we help her?” I ask.

“Remind her that sex is not about conceiving. It’s about pleasure and satisfaction. It’s about intimacy and love. It is the tool we use to vent our frustrations as much as it is used to show our care.”

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