Page 12 of Crimson Flames

Cillian’s hands ball up, his body vibrating with the onslaught of emotions. Boris reaches out and covers one before leaning over Cillian. It’s the most emotional I have ever seen him, and I find that I have no idea how to help either of them.

It’s not until I look down that I realize I’m crying too, the steady stream of droplets darkening my clothes. I know for a fact that there are very few things in this world that will bring these people to their knees, but I didn’t expect a life that was so small to leave such a large hole.

Boris is the first to pull himself together, sitting up and uncharacteristically wiping his face with his sleeve.

“Can we see her?”

Doc nods as Cillian sits up. “You can see them both.”

Cillian’s lip trembles as he fights to suck in air at a normal pace.

“W-we can see the baby?”

“Yes, for a short time. My nurse will take you to them.”

Cillian stands quickly, nearly running behind the woman that Doc gestured to, but Boris meets my eyes.

“I cannot do this,” he whispers.

“All she needs is for you to stay.” I encourage him, even though grief ripples through my own chest. “Just stay.”

I watch as he swallows and stands on shaky legs, Doc leading him to the entrance with a hand on his back in support. He pauses before the door, looking slightly back at me over his shoulder.

“I am not sure if I can this time.”

It’s so faint that I hardly hear it, but I pray he finds the strength to be there for Nessa. The loss of a child is always hard, but I don’t know if Nessa has the ability to survive this without him.

Kai is still sitting in his chair, emotion wiped clean from his face. It’s as if he has disappeared into himself.

“I think it’s time we get you back to the house with the others,” I suggest.

Quickly his emotionless face turns to one of pure hatred. “I am staying here.”

“Kai,” I try to plead, but he’s quick to get on his feet, gun in hand. I realize right then what Evie meant by things going badly.

“I am staying righthere. Damien said I get a choice. He said we all get to choose. I choose to behere!”

I raise my hands right as Alexi and Evie walk in. Alexi swiftly disarms him, tucking the gun behind his back. Kai moves to attack Alexi, but Evie stops him with a firm hand on his shoulder. When they lock eyes, a sense of calm seems to come over him.

“You cannot have a weapon if you aim it at everyone that pisses you off,” Alexi reprimands.

“What’s the point of a weapon then?” Kai bites back in anger. “Damien said I get a choice. Why are you trying to take it away from me?”

Evie pulls Kai into a hug then, and after a second of resistance, he melts into it. Their arms wrap tightly around each other in comfort.

“Weapons are to protect and defend. Not to threaten our friends.”

He nods into her shoulder.

“Okay,” he says, defeat evident in his tone, his voice breaking. “J-just don’t make me leave.Please.”

Evie looks at me, and I give my blessing. If it means this much to him, I will not be the one to take away his choice.

“Kai,” I say gently. Slowly, he turns to face me, brushing his sleeve over his face. He is dirty, they all are.

“If this is where you feel safe, then I want you to be here. There are bathrooms here you can wash up in. It’s going to be at least an hour before Nessa has a room. Why don’t you get cleaned up while we get you some clean clothes?”

He hangs his head as he takes a breath. “Yeah, okay.”

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