Page 57 of Crimson Flames

Instantly, Ami squeals and runs to the pup, arms flying to wrap around her neck. Bella sits there patiently, nudging her head into Ami’s neck as if to hug her back.

It took a little bit of digging, but we were able to find a dog who was trained as a service animal to help them. Bella works with panic disorders and night terrors. She will warn us if the girls are having issues in the night while also being their protector.

Damien helped me find some excellent trainers who work with service animals, and once a week, Bella will spend time with them to train as a guard dog as well. Adrian and I want to ensure that even if we aren’t with the girls, they will have a protector at all times.

Ani is slower to approach Bella, walking up to me to take my hand.

“Safe?” she questions.

Getting onto my knees so that I’m on her level, I take both of her hands in mine. “Bella will help keep you safe, just like we do. She is going to sleep with you just like Az did, and she’ll help keep the bad dreams away.”

We made this decision after Damien pointed out to us that they always slept best when Az was there. The nightmares weren’t totally gone, but they were much better controlled. Bella will be able to sense their heart rate in their sleep and will lay her head on their chests. According to the science journals we read, it has been proven effective in helping the dream subside and aided in placing a person in a deeper, dreamless sleep.

We’re hoping she can help the girls feel safer too. Adrian and I have been sleeping in the room with them, but an air mattress on the floor cannot be a permanent solution.

Ani approaches Bella, who sits perfectly still as she was trained. When she finally touches the pup’s soft head, Bella tilts her snout and licks Ani’s arm. The girls giggle, causing Bella to continue her licking and nudge their hands with her nose, encouraging more pets.

We wanted to find a dog that made them feel loved while still having a job, so Bella has permission to play during the day and nights will be more focused on work.

It only takes about an hour for the trainer to walk us through a few steps and commands with Bella, the girls falling more in lovewith her with each passing moment. She really is the perfect fit for our little family.

Bella rides in the center seat between the twins’ car seats, the girls petting her for the whole ride. They don’t stop smiling, even when they both nod off to sleep. It makes my heart feel lighter than it ever has before.

I want nothing more than for my man and my girls to be happy, and this is clearly a step in the right direction.

“You’re glowing,” Adrian says, lacing his fingers with mine. I look over at him, admiring the ways his dimples are on full display, and his shoulders look more relaxed than they have in weeks.

“So are you.”

He pulls my hand to his lips, kissing it gently.

“I’ve got everything I could have ever wanted in life. Why wouldn’t I be glowing?”

Shaking my head, I chuckle. “You’re so cheesy.”

He flashes me a grin that makes me melt. “You love it.”

“I love you,” I agree. “And them.”

“We love you too.”

Once we get home, the girls beg us to eat dinner on the couch and watch Olaf. They refuse to call the movie by its real name, and they love singing all of the songs. We may have seen it fifty times by now, but I can’t say no to their adorable faces.

All too soon, dinner is finished, dessert has been eaten, Bella is cuddled up next to the girls feet while they sleep in our arms.

Looking over at Adrian with blurry eyes, I mouth, ‘Family’. He reaches over to squeeze my arm before kissing Ani on the head.

‘Family,’ he mouths back.

I never thought we would get to this day where everything in life felt complete, but here we are. Every battle we fought, every war waged, and every tear shed brought us to this moment. Thesleepless nights with the girls, their meltdowns, them fighting. It has all pushed us to see just how much we can handle.

We see the fear, the trauma response takes hold of them so often. Yet, every time, they search for us when it is over, wanting the reassurance that they are still loved despite it all. And they are, they always will be.

It’s moments like this when the trauma finally takes a back seat and makes all of the fighting worth it. All of the bad feelings are there in the background, but we’ll keep fighting it with them and ensuring that it never wins.

That’s what being a family is. Going toe to toe with the enemy until it learns to never rise again. So even though there will be battles ahead that will challenge all of us, we still choose them. We choose us. We choose our family.

Chapter 22

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