Page 27 of Crimson Flames

“Okay.” It is definitely forced, but he needs time to process.

Bloody hell, we all need time to process.

“Let’s get back?”

We make our way to Nessa’s room, my thoughts circling around one question.If Kai already feels this attached to this family, how do all the other kids feel?

So many of them were hurt by their own families and have no one to rely on but us.

Somehow, I have a feeling this family just became much bigger than we could have ever imagined.

Chapter 10

I don’t think I have any tears left to cry. It’s pointless really, it gets me nowhere and only makes me feel worse. My abdomen feels like a thousand knives are playing duck duck goose inside of it, and the crying only makes my face hurt. My throat feels like a desert, but sitting up to ask for water is too difficult right now.

Breathing is too difficult right now.

A soft knock sounds at the door, and I look up to see Evie and Laney standing in the frame.

“Can we come in?” Evie asks.

“Yeah,” I rasp out, my voice sounding like utter shite.

“Ness,” Laney says, shaking her head. “Has no one brought you water?”

I look at her but don’t answer. Without a word, she leaves the room as Evie pulls a chair to my side.

“How ya doing there, babe?”

Again, I don’t answer.

“Do you want to give up?”

That has my brows pinching as I tilt my head up.

“That’s how I felt when everyone saved me that last time,” Evie says, her voice just above a whisper as if we were sharing secrets. “I told Dr. K I was done a few times, but she never let me stay down for long.”

Evie might not know what it’s like to lose a child, but she knows pain more than anyone.

“Does it get easier?”

She rolls her lips together, then sighs. “Some things do. I won’t lie to you, it takes a while for the pain to fade. The memory of the ache always dulls first, then the scars, but those were harder. Every time I saw one on myself or looked in a mirror, I would relive flashes of my past. The night terrors didn’t help with that. But Dr. K encouraged me to lean on Alexi, Damien, and Lev.”

She leans back in her chair, pulling her feet up.

“Some days Lev has to drag me out of bed and force me to write in my journal, and others I can go on like nothing happened.”

I don’t respond, waiting for the moment where she tells me it all gets better. That one day it won’t feel like this anymore.

“I guess, to answer your question, it gets easier, but life for us will always be hard.”

I look down at the bandage on my stomach and place my hand over it. “I thought I could protect her,” I admit.

“Maybe you did,” Laney says as she walks in the room and sits on the side of the bed.

I want to slap her for the remark, but she bends down and puts the straw in my mouth. When the cool liquid greets my throat, I can’t help but sigh in relief.

“You can think about it like your little girl never got to live, but you can also think of it that she neverhadto live. She will never know the pain of getting her heart broken, or have to deal with the brutality that exists in our world. She will never be looked down upon or talked poorly to.”

---