Page 81 of Crimson Tears

But then she came through like a hurricane, shaking up my life until I had no choice but to let her in. And once I did, it was like I reached the eye of the storm. Quiet and peace found me and I was able to find happiness again. The thing I had been praying to the gods of the universe for had presented in the form of a redheaded spitfire that calmed the chaos raging inside of me.

All of a sudden, I saw those white picket fences again, and I found someone to laugh with. To share my life and dreams with. She gave me peace, so I vowed to find a way to give her the same.

Whether it be the plethora of expensive bath bombs, the hundreds of dresses I have had made for her. Or holding her inmy arms until she believed she was safe, swearing to cut down any monster that threatened her happiness. I promised to hold onto this dream again because I had foundher.

I knew from the moment I met her that she was unique. Nessa was not fragile and did not wish to be pampered, but she let me do it anyway. She did not shy away from my work nor the dark side. No, Nessa stood like a force that dared me to push back. And every time I did, I was reminded of who she is.

Mine.

I finally had the thing that I asked all of the gods of the universe for. And yet, I tried to walk away like a selfish idiot because I got scared.

It feels like it was months ago that this happened, but Evie informed me it has only been 6 days. Not even a full week.

My hands begin to burn under the heat of the coffee, but I don’t set them down. I just continue to stand there, punishing myself in the only way I know how.

“Father.”

A throat clears beside me and I jerk in surprise. Although he doesn’t say anything, I see that stupid ass smirk on my kid’s face.

“What?” I ask sharply.

He shakes his head. “You and I are alike, remember?”

I finally register just how badly my hands are burning and set the cups down on the table in front of me before turning back to Alexi.

“Is that supposed to mean something to me in this moment?”

“You were thinking. And punishing yourself.”

He looks pointedly at the two drinks I finally grabbed covers for.

“Your point, Son?” I ask, growing impatient.

“You need to talk.”

I laugh because my son is the last person I want to talk about my love life with. Or my problems in general. I was never thebest father, but I have been trying to make up for that recently. I am certain that being a good father is not speaking about your problems and fears with your child. You are supposed to be the strong one. The man they look up to.

Except, the way Alexi looks at me reaffirms that is far from the truth, even if it was what I was taught. “This is not something I can talk about with you.” I raise my hands in surrender, knowing he is going to insist. “Please, do not push me.”

He assesses me, looking me up and down before nodding and pulling out his phone.

“This is not a topic I feel comfortable to discuss with you,” he states.

“Alright?” I look between him and the phone before blowing out a breath.

“So, I called someone who I believe can help.”

He hands me his phone, a call already connected. “I do not need to talk to a therapist about this,” I tell Alexi as I bring the device to my ear. It is not that I don’t believe in therapy, more that I feel the need to gather my thoughts together before I share them with a professional.

“Well, thank fuck I’m not a therapist then.” My nephew’s voice startles me.

“Arrow?” I question.

“Sure is. Heard you’re having some lady problems.”

I scoff, and Alexi smirks at me. “You can thank Evie.” Then he turns and heads out of the room.

I will not lie, if he wanted to talk to me about my relationship dynamic, I would have likely said no and continued staring out the damn window. But his wife seems to know what I need before I do sometimes. It is strange, but something that makes me adore my daughter-in-law.

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