Page 39 of Filthy Savage

Me? Well, I’ll be thinking about him long after I get home. Hanging on to every moment we had together because it was something incredible.

Invisible Amara. That’s how I’ve always felt. But with him, I wasn’t invisible at all.

He saw me. Really saw.

The back of my throat stings, but I ignore it, taking my soda and drinking a few gulps.

Maybe if I sleep, I’ll feel better.

With a sigh, I shut my eyes and fall into darkness, unsure what’s waiting for me on the other side.

“Look!”

A little girl with eyes that look like mine grins at a woman. Her face is blurred, but the baby girl this toddler is holding is clear as day.

Her little mouth pinches and she coos, grabbing the toddler’s finger.

“Look, she loves me.” Her eyes round with excitement and love. So much love, I can feel it.

“Yes, she does, sweetheart.”

The woman doesn’t say the child’s name, but she’s me. I know she is. Everything about her feels familiar.

But the newborn? I don’t know who she is.

The baby starts to cry, but the little girl shushes her, calmly rocking her as she smiles. “Don’t cry.”

But as she continues to rock her, the baby flickers, like she’s withering away on a television screen.

“Mommy?” Terror fills the child’s voice.

Myvoice.

“Mommy! Help!” She rocks her faster. “Don’t go! Please! Mommy, help me!”

The girl wails, but the woman is gone now, the baby in her arms slowly disappearing.

Her legs.

Her chest.

Like in slow motion.

Until her face is gone too.

The child screams, her body trembling, tears leaking out of her eyes.

The room is now empty. Black.

And soon enough, the girl…she disappears too.

Gasping, I startle awake.

The woman next to me gives me an annoyed look.

I clutch my chest, my heart beating frantically.

That dream, it’s back. It’s been weeks since I’ve had it. Why now?

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