Page 40 of Filthy Savage

I hate it. Every time it comes, it scares me, and I don’t know why. It started when I was maybe ten. Like out of nowhere. I’d have the same dream a few times a week.

I was happy when it stopped a few months ago, and I thought it was over.

Clearly I was fooling myself.

I still can’t make sense of it. I’ve asked my mother, but she tells me it’s just a dream. Means nothing. Yet I have this sense that it somehow does. Like it’s telling me something.

But what? What does it mean? That I’m losing myself? That I have no one to care about me?

I already knew all that.

Maybe it’s some kind of sign that I should look for my father. That I’m missing some connection to my past or something.

I don’t know, but once I get home, I intend to find him. To find what’s missing.

Maybe that’ll help me stop thinking about the man I left back on that island and all the things we could’ve had.

CHAPTER 10

AMARA

As soon as I land,Emily’s there, grinning as she waves from her white sedan.

“Hey! You’re all tanned and sexy.” She helps me with my luggage before we shuffle into the car and she’s taking us on the road.

“Yeah, guess I did get a nice tan.” I slide my hair behind my ear, releasing a sigh.

Her dark eyes narrow. “What’s the matter? Did the asshole call you?”

“No.” I stare out the window, feeling a pang of guilt over not telling her about Fionn.

We tell each other everything, but I’d rather not talk about him. Easier that way.

“Then what’s wrong?”

I shrug. “Just hate that I have to go home.” Blowing a breath, I give her a small smile. “Sorry, don’t mean to be all doom and gloom.”

“I don’t blame you.” She places a hand on my forearm. “You’ve had it harder than anyone I know.”

“It could always be worse.” I force a smile. “Thanks again for picking me up and for the money. You’re the best, you know that?”

“I know.” She cocks her chin.

“I promise I’ll pay you back ASAP.”

“Oh, shut up. It’s a gift.”

My mouth widens. “Absolutely not! Iwillpay you back.”

“Okay.” She shrugs, smirking. “Whatever makes you happy, but I’ll just give it back to you.”

My eyes water, and I try not to cry.

She’s always been the one person I can count on in this world. Don’t know what I’d do without her. She even stayed back and didn’t go to the college she wanted to attend all because my mother forced me to quit high school.

She said she had cancer. She never actually did.

Knots form in my gut at the memories.

---