Page 3 of Inked Craving

I sat on the edge of the bathtub, my feet in slippers, my shorts riding up since I had pulled them up too quickly. I hadn’t put on a bra, my tank top old and ratty. Yet it was all comfortable. I looked like the epitome of the hot mess I was, but nobody would see this. Other than me and my reflection.

I couldn’t remember if I had washed my hair this week, and I was pretty sure my sister had noticed. Considering that I was a whiz with dry shampoo and subtle updos, no one should have seen, but it had been at least since Monday. Showering was something I did daily because I still worked out and needed the hot water on my skin. I couldn’t sleep, so I craved something that made me tired.

Yet, something was wrong. Terribly wrong.

I looked down at the stick in my hand, at the five other sticks on the counter, the two more on the floor, and I didn’t cry. I didn’t do anything. I just sat there and looked down at the words that were clear, evident, and part of the name of the damn brand.

Pregnant.

I, Paige Montgomery, youngest of the Montgomery clan, including all other nineteen or so cousins, was pregnant.

Out of wedlock, out of a relationship, and left behind.

“This cannot be happening.” My words echoed in the bathroom, yet it was the truth. Every positive test, whether they be pink, blue, one line, two, an odd assortment of dots, or the clear words that saidpregnant,let me know I was with child.

Something was growing inside me, taking nutrients and splitting cells and creating an amorphous blob until it would one day be the size of a cantaloupe, and then some other food product that would eventually be compared to an actual baby. And then I would give birth.

I would have a baby.

I scrambled off the edge of the bathtub, threw open the toilet lid, and proceeded to empty my stomach.

I honestly didn’t think it had anything to do with morning sickness, but rather…heart sickness.

I was pregnant.

Pregnant with Colton’s baby. The same guy who had left me and hadn’t taken a second look back after thinking he’d besohappy with his new life.

He had known what his life would be and decided to take that job in New York as if that would be his pinnacle of success and identity.

He’d left me, and I had let him. But he hadn’t left me alone. No, I was going to have a baby.

I swallowed hard and lay down on the floor as I let the sweat cool, my pants slowly receding as my body quit shaking.

This didn’t feel real. Maybe it wasn’t. I would have to go to the doctor. They would likely tell me that there were a bunch of false positives and that it just happened. It was a way of life. That had to be it. Because there was no way I could be pregnant.

I had wanted marriage, a future, all of that—everything that came with being with Colton and starting the next phase of our life. I had wanted all of it, yet it seemed as if I wouldn’t get it.

Because I was broken.

I blinked, annoyed with myself for that thought because it was so unlike me. No, I couldn’t be broken. Pregnant people couldn’t be broken. They had to face the future and deal with the fact that it wasn’t only their life that was the center of their universe. And why was I going through a thousand different emotions?

I let out a breath and then looked over at my phone.

I needed to tell Colton. I needed to tell him that we were having a baby.

“No,I’mhaving a baby.” He’d left us. He wanted nothing to do with this life and was already having a carefree time with the perfect job and the perfect future in New York. He hadn’t even thought to bring me.

My hands fisted. I would tell him, but I needed to make sure I wasn’t angry when I did so. I needed to wrap my head around it first, and then I could tell Colton so I wouldn’t resent him. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone if I did.

Because the crux of it was, I didn’t want him back.

I wasn’t heartbroken in the way others thought I should be. I wasbreaking. And that was the difference. Because Colton had left me and hadn’t wanted me the way I wanted him. I had made a fool of myself for him, and now he was gone. Only he had left a certain little something behind. Though not so little when I thought about the ramifications of everything.

I let out a shaky breath and stood before jumping into the shower. I quickly washed my hair, not caring how long the conditioner was supposed to sit. I just needed to be clean, needed to wash away the evidence of my lack of faith in myself.

My periods had always been irregular. So, when I first missed a cycle, I’d noticed, but it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Then I’d missed a second, and I knew that something was wrong. And now I knew why.

When I got out of the shower, I pulled my hair up on top of my head, not bothering to dry it. I went into the bedroom, pulled on a pair of cute black jeans, ones that I might not in fit soon, and quickly pushed that thought from my mind. Then I pulled on a top and a cute little cardigan and went back to the bathroom. I proceeded to blow-dry my hair and put on makeup. I slid into cute shoes and told myself I would go out for a bite to eat. Go to a new restaurant that had nothing to do with Colton and his restaurateur self. Nothing to do with his friends and their places of business. And I would be okay.

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