Page 4 of Inked Craving

Only I wasn’t. And I needed to come to terms with that and get over myself. Instead, I let out a breath, looked at myself in the mirror, and figured I looked perfectly respectable. Maybe more like an exhausted librarian, but it worked.

I shook my head, grabbed my purse, and made my way outside.

I lived within walking distance of a cute area, one with a few restaurants that weren’t Colton’s or his friends’, and a shopping district. It was just getting dark out, perfect for dinnertime, and I told myself this was fine.

I wasn’t going to call my family or tell them that I had made a mistake and would now have to live with the consequences. I didn’t want to deal with their looks. I didn’t want to deal with the pity in their eyes, especially since they were all happy and married, and most were having babies. I was the only single one left, dealing with my own issues.

Yet it seemed I’d be starting a family my way. Not how I’d wanted or how I wanted my family to see me, but I would push that from my thoughts.

I raised my chin and told myself I just needed to pretend that I was normal. Act as if I were fine and handling it. And maybe Iwouldhandle it.

I knew I wasn’t acting normally and was headed into dangerous territory, risking making another mistake. Only I was putting one foot in front of the other and making this work. I just needed tonight. I needed to pretend for this bare instant.

The responsible thing would be to go to my sister and have Annabelle hold me as I told her all of my problems. And yet, I had been doing that for far too long—relying on my family when I could handle things on my own.

I could do this. I could do this. I actuallycouldn’tdo this.

No. I would not let that thought run through my mind again. I was stronger than that. Once the shock wore off, I could make plans and figure things out.

Annabelle had her family now. The twins were adorable and loving and the most precious things in the world. She had her husband, and she didn’t need me coming in and disrupting their evening again. I had done that far too many times.

I couldn’t go to my big brother Beckett. He and Eliza were married, happy, and had one of Eliza’s brothers visiting. They were also preparing their house for foster care and didn’t need me interfering with that.

Benjamin and Brenna had a newborn and barely slept as it was. They didn’t need my problems. My parents were on vacation, taking a cruise together and enjoying retirement. I wasn’t even going to try to get ahold of them.

And then there was Archer and Marc. They were newly married. I had even been a bridesmaid in their wedding. I wasn’t going to bother them during their newlywedded bliss.

My family was moving on, and I needed to get with the program.

I kept walking, smiling at others as they walked past. Most people were in pairs, on dates, or just enjoying themselves and friends.

I reached into my bag for my phone and realized I hadn’t even brought it. I shook my head, thinking it was no matter. I wanted to scream, do something, and yet I couldn’t breathe.

The first drop of rain hit my face, and I looked up, wondering if it was a tear or the sky opening. My thoughts were scattered, and I felt as if I couldn’t suck in air, but I kept going anyway. Couples cuddled closer underneath their umbrellas, something I hadn’t even bothered to bring. Others went inside restaurants and the little shops. They kept each other dry and safe as they laughed and smiled, kissing one another as they waited for their tables. I kept moving, ignoring the rain as it drenched my newly dried hair and seeped through my clothes and into my skin.

I held back a curse and turned around. I needed to go home and get dry. Protect my baby. That was what mattered.

“Paige?”

At the deep and familiar voice, I nearly tripped over my feet and skidded into a puddle. I looked up to see Lee, my brother’s best friend, as he ran towards me. He’d left a woman in a gorgeous bronze dress standing in front of a restaurant, a frown on her face and an umbrella keeping her safe from the rain. Lee didn’t seem to mind that he was getting wet. Instead, he slid his hands through his hair, pushed the damp strands back, and moved forward.

“Paige? What are you doing out in the rain? Come on. Let me get you under the umbrella or something. Shit. You’re shaking.”

I wasn’t cold. I didn’t think the shakes would ever come from the cold again.

“I’m fine.”

There was something odd about my voice, and I couldn’t figure it out. Was this shock? Or just me breaking? After all this time, had I finally truly broken?

Lee met my gaze and cupped my face as he slid his thumbs over my cheeks. “Do you need to go to the hospital? What the hell’s going on, Paige?”

“I’m fine.”I wasn’t fine.

He met my gaze again, and my stomach rolled. It had nothing to do with being sick or pregnant. It was Lee. The guy I’d had a crush on since I was far too young tohavea crush. Lee seemed as if he had always been there—just so far out of reach that I couldn’t hold on to him. He was my brother’s best friend, and I wasn’t supposed to find him attractive or want more from him. And Lee wasn’t the type of guy you wanted more from.

“Lee, darling. We’re going to miss our reservations. Just give her the money and go.”

I watched Lee’s jaw tense as he let out a breath. “I’m taking you home,” he whispered before pulling me to his side and trying to shield me from the rain. It didn’t matter since we were both drenched at this point, but he still tried. That was Lee, always doing his best, even if the world didn’t care.

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