Page 40 of Inked Devotion

I couldn’t.

Instead, Sky, my staff member and assistant would help me get home.

I wanted a baby, and this is what I had to deal with. I needed to tell my friends. I needed to tell someone other than Benjamin. I didn’t like the fact that I had yet one more secret. After all of our anger and tension over Beckett’s secrets, here I was doing it myself.

How was I supposed to be a good mother when I couldn’t even follow my own rules and morals?

I sighed, rolled my shoulders back, ignored the dizziness, and set up the cupcakes.

I put them in the walk-in fridge when I was done. Sky would finish up the rest of the order the next day.

I knew Sky would be able to take more responsibility once this baby came, as we had both been discussing her increasing her work and hours in the first place. She didn’t know why but hopefully when I told her, she wouldn’t freak out. Hopefully, when I told anyone, they wouldn’t freak out. Benjamin hadn’t.

I shook my head, washed my hands, and then headed out to my car. Soon things could be completely different in my life. My stomach rolled, and I knew it was nerves. So many nerves. I drove carefully toward the office, telling myself that getting a speeding ticket today of all days wouldn’t be responsible. I pulled myself from my worries and turned down the street towards my doctor.

I wanted to be a mother, I told myself again. I might be going about it differently from what others might have expected, but I did the unexpected. I was stubborn, like they told me. I was going to do this even if I didn’t feel a hundred percent okay today.

I hoped I wasn’t coming down with a cold because that meant no baby for now. I shook it off and told myself everything was fine.

“Hi there, Brenna,” the admin said as I walked into the waiting area.

“Hi, Candace. It’s good to see you. How’s the baby?”

Candace beamed and held out her phone. “Her first tooth is already in. I can’t believe it. It feels like I just was pregnant yesterday.”

I beamed as I looked down at the little ball of cuteness. I had remembered when Candace had been pregnant, and it did feel like it was yesterday. Now her daughter had her first tooth and was grinning with that little tooth and all of those gums at the camera.

“She’s gorgeous.” I wiped away a tear.

Candice held out the tissue box. “Hormones will do that to you.”

She winked when she said it, and since nobody was in the waiting room, I didn’t mind leaning forward. “Hopefully I’ll have even more hormones soon.”

“Crossing my fingers for you, darling.”

She handed me some paperwork, and we worked through it quickly before I made my way to the back.

“You know the drill, come pee in the cup,” another nurse said, and I nodded, before I did as ordered, and washed my hands.

I let out a breath and looked at myself in the mirror. “Okay then. You can do this. Everything’s fine.”

My phone vibrated, and I looked down.

Sky:We’ll see you in a bit. Just let us know if you need us to bring anything.

Me:Thank you so much for picking me up.

Sky:No problem, boss. See you soon.

I let out a shaky breath before I put my phone back again. It buzzed one more time, and I looked at the screen, expecting Sky.

Benjamin:Good luck today. You had told me the date before, and I know we aren’t talking about it. I’m here if you need me.

I swallowed hard and let out a breath.

Damn him, damn him for being so perfect at the completely wrong time. Not that there was ever going to be a right time when it came to Benjamin Montgomery.

I couldn’t answer. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say. Thank you? I miss you? We should talk? None of that was going to work. Instead, I slid my finger over the screen where his name was and let out a shaky breath before I put my phone back in my purse. I quickly turned it off and told myself that he didn’t need a response now. It wasn’t as if I knew what I was supposed to say.

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