Page 49 of From Our First

I shook my head. “Nothing about this makes sense. But we’re going to move forward and start fresh. And that means I need to be able to look at myself in the mirror and not remember every horrible thing I did.”

“We’ll figure out who we are and what we are together. And we won’t hate each other anymore.”

I didn’t move closer to press my lips to hers, to taste her, so I pulled away and put my hands into my pockets.

“We’ll start over.”

She held out her hand, and I laughed before sliding my hand into hers.

A handshake to start a friendship.

And yet I knew that wasn’t truly the case. Because we had done far more than hold hands or shake. Eventually, we would have to talk about that. But first, I would hold her hand. The rest would have to come along the way.

Chapter 12

Myra

“We are heretoday to discuss a matter of great importance.”

Dakota snickered at my side, and I glared at her before doing the same to Paris.

“Are you giving a sermon now?” I asked, adopting my most haughty tone.

“Only for you, darling.” Paris winked.

“If you’re done making fun of her,” Dakota began, “we have a few things to go over.”

“Mainly, let’s talk about you and Nate.” Hazel gave me a pointed look, and I sighed, knowing they had all come over to my place for a reason. Not because of the pact, or because of a promise, but because of what was inherent in who we were.

“There’s so much to talk about. I don’t even know where to begin, so I’d rather not say anything at all,” I said after a moment, my words tumbling out one after the other.

“Why don’t you start from the beginning?” Hazel reached out to grab my hand. “We love you. And I’m not going to speak for everyone, but I will say that I forgive you for what you withheld. We’ve all had our secrets, and I understand.”

“Same here,” Dakota said.

“I mean, I will be bitter, but that’s only because I need something in your con column for when I’m trying to get out of things when I screw up,” Paris said, her face carefully neutral before she cracked up.

I shook my head, relief spreading through me much faster than I thought possible. I hadn’t expected them to forgive me. Sure, they might’ve said something along those lines, but they were also shocked about what had happened. Now, they’d had a couple of days to contemplate what I had told them fully, and I felt like these were their honest reactions.

I wanted to curl up into a ball and cry.

And because of that, I didn’t allow myself to do it. I only cried when I couldn’t hold back. And I had spent years not being a person who shed tears at the drop of a hat. I kept doing it lately, and I wasn’t happy about it.

“You asked us over here, and I assume it’s not so you can apologize again,” Paris said.

“I could if you need me to,” I said honestly.

“You don’t.”

I looked at Hazel, the woman I had known the longest, who I was the closest to, and I wanted to wrap my arms around her and never let go.

“Okay, since I last spoke to you, there have been...developments.”

All of them leaned forward, and I swallowed hard, wishing I had wine in my hand. But I also knew I needed to do this sober, and not rely on anything but my determination.

“What kind of developments?” Dakota asked.

“The juicy kind?” Paris asked, and I cringed.

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