Page 43 of On the Edge

“Well, I mean, we’re two dudes.”

“And we can’t appreciate or need a little romance?” Jonas peered down the bridge of his nose at me, making me feel more than a little foolish.

“True.” Needing to hide my heated cheeks, I looked away at the crackling fireplace, which cast a warm glow on the whole room. “And Ilikethe romantic stuff. More than I thought I would.”

“Good.” He sounded like he was trying hard not to laugh.

“I guess what I want is, like, really romantic sex. To feel even more connected. And a lot of people would say that’s whatfucking is. But now I’m not so sure.Gah.I’m like the one dude in America who doesn’t jack off to fucking scenes in porn.”

“You’re hardly the only one.” Jonas did chuckle then, but it was kind, and he held me close. “Maybe it’s my nursing background or maybe just how I’m wired, but I find a lot of ass play, especially in porn, really clinical. One finger, then two, add more lube, and so on.”

“Yes. Clinical.” I exhaled, relief coursing through me at finding the right word. “Not gross or disgusting, but just not sexy. And I thought all day I’d offer to fuck, but then you said we don’t have to, and I felt relief, but I don’t want to wimp out?—”

“Breathe, Declan. That’s a lot of thinking.” Jonas kissed the side of my head.

“Overthinking,” I agreed weakly.

“Drop this notion that sex with another man is an extreme sport.” He wasn’t wrong, so I had to snort-laugh at myself along with him. “We’re not out here trying to level up. How about we get back to what we’re good at?”

“Kissing?” I asked hopefully, tilting my mouth up. He obliged me with a soft kiss, one that made me shiver and smile at the same time.

“And connection.”

“Yeah, that too,” I said breathlessly as he skated his hands over my back. Huddled under the blankets together, I lost all sense of time, all my focus saved for the next kiss and the one after that. We kissed and touched, and despite having done exactly this before, the living room locale in front of the fire and under the covers made each caress feel brand-new. Special.

That was what I’d wanted for tonight, but I wasn’t sure why I’d ever thought we needed something extra to make it special. Simply being in the same room with Jonas was special. The way he made me feel was special. He looked at me like I was the unveiling of a new dirt bike model, and he couldn’t waitto discover all my bells and whistles. But deeper than that, he made it safe to share secrets and worries, and he made me feel understood on a very basic level.

That was special. What we’d found here together these last few months was special.

“Can I show you something?” Jonas whispered as he readjusted our positions so he was spooning me from behind.

“Yeah.” I tensed, though, more of those weird nerves as his cock brushed the crease of my ass.

“Relax.” He kissed the back of my neck and stroked my chest and abs. “No penetration. Just holding you like this and moving together.”

He shifted so his cock was between my thighs and he was holding me closer than I’d ever been before. A light, airy feeling took hold of my insides.

“Oh, I like this.” I exhaled into his embrace, relaxing fully against him. His arms were strong and sure, biceps flexing around me, thick thighs bracketing mine, sturdy torso giving me something to lean into. “It might be my new favorite.”

“Mine too.” He teased my earlobe with his tongue, making me shiver, but I was hardly cold, not with a warm, wonderful man behind me and covers over me. I was as comfortable as I could ever remember being.

Over the last few weeks, Jonas holding me had become a sort of guilty pleasure—something I adored but also felt vaguely weird about how much I craved it. However, there was nothing weird or guilty about this. Letting him hold me and enjoying it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

And when he snaked his hand down my front to grasp my cock, all I could do was moan. All my guy friends liked to talk about coming. Nutting. Getting their rocks off. They made it sound like orgasm was the only point of sex, but with Jonas, the point, theentirepoint, was how he made me feel inside.

Yes, I was going to come, embarrassingly quick, but this kind of sex was about as far from jerking off alone as one could get. I wanted to come, not to take something as mine but rather as something we shared together.

He’d either spit on his cock or found some lotion because his cock was slick as it slid between my thighs.

“Squeeze your legs tighter.” Jonas moaned low as soon as I did, which made me want to do it again. I rested my uninjured foot on my walking boot, as close to crossing my legs as I could get. “Oh, that’s good. Perfect.”

“Yes. Jonas.” I wasn’t sure what I wanted. Something entirely too big and scary welled up in my chest, words I couldn’t think, let alone say. I wanted him. Needed him. And if he stopped stroking my cock and thrusting against me, I might cry. “Don’t stop.”

“I won’t, baby. I won’t,” he promised. With his free hand, he flicked one of my sensitive nipples.

“That.” I moaned, head tipping back onto his shoulder. Our faces rubbed together, as close as the rest of us. I turned my head to demand a kiss, and he was right there, waiting for me. Perfection.

“Can you come, baby?” His voice was gruff. Good lord, I would have given him anything he asked for in that rough tone.

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