Page 64 of His Custody

She glared at him, hands on her hips. “How many of these are there?”

Half his face bunched up in thought and he ticked them off on his fingers. “I’m half done, three more.”

Her shoulder slumped and she rolled her eyes but she circled a finger in the air, a gesture for him to get the fuck on with this, please.

“Fourth, it’s not safe. We talked about this. If you’re going to go home with someone, take a picture of his license and text it to me with where you’re going to be. Fifth, this Chaz sounds like a stand-up guy, looking for a relationship. It’d be poor form to drag him home for a quick revenge fuck. Sixth...”

He rubbed his hands over his face, so hard it must’ve hurt the craggy angles of his features. Jasper took a few step toward her, made eye contact to ask permission. When she didn’t refuse him, he stepped in close and nudged her chin up with his thumb. “Sixth... I love you, Keyne. It would hurt me to think of you with someone else so soon. I want you to give this a real shot, please. And then at the end, if you still want what I have to offer, I’ll give it to you. Everything. Cross my heart. As angry as you are with me right now, and you have every right to be, don’t make decisions you’re going to regret later to spite me, please. I’m not giving you an order, I can’t anymore. I’m asking you as a favor. Please.”

Well, those were five pretty decent reasons not to fuck some random guy tonight. Number five was some bullshit. But to hear Jasper asking her, pleading with her, it poked at her sore heart. She couldn’t say no to him. Not like she’d ever been very good at that on the rare occasions when he actually asked her for something.

“Fine.” He dropped his hand and took her in his arms, holding her close so she could feel his heartbeat as well as hear it. She hugged him back, her eyes watering because she didn’t know when the next time she’d be allowed to do this would be. “If you’re allowed to ask me a favor, can I ask you one?”

“Of course, Tinker Bell. Anything.”

She pulled back to look into his eyes, taking a hard swallow, knowing this was a big ask. What would she do if he said no? She supposed she could always go find Chaz and blow his goddamn mind, although hopefully it wouldn’t come to that.

“While I’m gone, would you... would you not be with anybody else?”

“How do you mean?” By the slowness of his speech, he already knew what she meant, but he was going to make her say it.

“I don’t want you to have sex with anyone else. Or play with anyone else. Or date anyone.”

“One night for four years? You drive a hard bargain, you know that?”

She nodded. It was true she was asking a lot, and her world slowed down as she waited for his answer. She could pick the minute marks off her clock in the second it took him to decide:he loves me, he loves me not. He loves me—

“I won’t. You have my word.”

He loves me.

She buried her face in his chest and held him tight, the hard muscles of his body firm in her grip. She was going to be so, so lonely without Jasper. And adrift. Why couldn’t he have given her more notice about this crazy ridiculous scheme of his? But that would’ve meant less time with him, less of all the things she loved. An agonizing peeling of the Jasper bandage that had covered her hurts and frustrations for so long. He’d ripped it away and now that she stood here raw, she realized maybe the wounds were more healed than she thought. Pretending to be functional was a possibility at least. She’d make him proud of her.

He petted her hair and she melted. She’d miss the comfort of his body. And the sex. And everything. But she could do this. Had to do this if she wanted him back and that’s what she wanted more than anything.

“I should go. Don’t want to be late for dinner and get stuck at the weird table.” She’d get stuck there soon enough. The orphan no one knew how to talk to.

“Okay. You can call me if you need me.”

“Okay.”

She let him go and watched as he walked toward the door, the broad span of his shoulders taking up too much room in the small space. He didn’t belong here, but for the next four years she did. “Hey, Jasper?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

She didn’t say it often, couldn’t remember in fact the last time she’d said it. Or come to think of it, if she’deversaid it. It always felt superfluous. Like he must know every look she gave him, every word she said, every movement of her body ached with devotion, adoration, passion. She loved him so much with every cell of her body that sometimes she thought she’d be crushed by the weight of it and gladly. Why say the words when they both knew it was true?

Maybe she should’ve said it more often, or even every day because before she realized what was happening, he was holding her again, so tightly she couldn’t breathe. Her feet weren’t even on the ground and she had the foolish thought that this is what it would be like to be made Jasper’s forever, to be loved so much she could barely breathe but to be so high from the euphoria she wouldn’t care.

“I love you, too, Keyne. You be a good girl, okay? Take care of yourself. I can’t—” His voice was raw, like the words hurt coming out of his throat.

There was a knock at the door and he set her down. “Must be one of your roommates. Probably want to walk over to dinner with you. I’ll talk to you later. Call me anytime.”

***

When he opened the door, his guess proved correct. Keyne’s suitemates, Brittney and Callie, were waiting at the door, one blonde and one brunette pressed together, whispering. He gave them a quick nod and a muttered “ladies,” on his way by.

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